darth becky
-
Karen vs. Becky: An Instagram Live Battle Featuring 20 Back-to-Back Hits
Picture it: a Sicily-themed nook, where a Becky sits scrolling through her “Turning Lululemons Into Lemonade” Pinterest board with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. All of a sudden, she receives a DM from her girl Karen with an interesting proposition: a hit-for-hit battle on Instagram Live. It’s a timely proposition since both women have…
-
Megyn Kelly Is (Probably) Losing Her Job Because She Sucks At It, Not Because She's Racist
Sentient vat of recycled Great Value Wite-Out Megyn Kelly appears to be losing her job very soon. Perhaps it will happen while I am typing this sentence. (Did it?) The straw that broke this racist camel’s back, of course, was her awkward and illogical and just dumb-as-the-fuck defense of blackface Halloween costumes and then her…
-
Melania Trump vs. Ivanka Trump: Who Is the Beckiest of Them All?
When it comes to public displays of privilege, perhaps there are no two greater examples of the entitlement that accompanies whiteness than Melania and Ivanka Trump. They are hailed as accomplished, successful icons of feminism and flawless beauty based solely on their achievements in the lucrative field of being related to Donald Trump. If “Becky”…
-
Missouri Waitress Fired Over ‘N-Word Hunting’ Video Swears She Isn’t Racist, Claims to Have Black Friends
We all knew it was only a matter of time before good ole Tabbie came back with the tears and the apologies, crying that she’s not racist. Turns out it didn’t take that long for the Jefferson County, Mo., resident to start her apology tour, claiming that she was drunk at the time she was…
-
Bye, Tabbie: Missouri Waitress Fired After Horrific Racist Video About ‘N-Word Hunting’
A Jefferson County, Mo., waitress is out of a job after she was filmed in a horrific racist video that went viral. The video shows Tabitha “Tabbie” Duncan, 20, riding on top of a pickup truck down a dark country road. “So we’re going nigger hunting today or what?” a man off camera asks. “We’re…
-
Are We Certain That Britt McHenry and Tomi Lahren Aren’t the Exact Same Person?
Earlier Monday afternoon, Deadspin revealed that Professional White Woman Britt McHenry bought many of her Twitter followers. And that she then jumped on Twitter to have a death match with the “liberal media” about it. And then said something about fake news. And then went on the radio Monday morning to basically say, “Oh yeah,…
-
Quiz: Are You a Becky?
This weekend, scientists at one of the country’s most heralded bastions of journalism unearthed a living, breathing specimen of a real-life Becky. Unlike the modern-day versions of white women who trade on the privilege and status of white womanhood, this Becky was discovered in pristine form, unadulterated by societal contaminants such as intelligence, reason and…
-
What #JusticeForJazzy Would Look Like if I Were Jazzy
My formative years were spent on the south side of New York City’s Jamaica, Queens. The small neighborhood is almost considered a quiet suburb of New York City. Quiet—it is not. Suburban—kinda, sorta, but not quite. Sure, there were blocks of tree-lined streets, houses and backyards with grassy knolls, but it also included the 40s…
-
Darth Maria Becky Sharapova Is the 2nd-Whitest Woman on Earth
Imagine, if you will, the level of raw and uncut caucasity necessary to be most famous for … losing to your fiercest rival so many consecutive times that said rival got so bored that she went out and had a freakin’ baby just so that the baby could eventually beat your ass, too, and injecting…