black people
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10 Cringeworthy Things Every Black Person Born Between 1975 and 1985 Did in Their Teens and 20s, Ranked
10. Performed spoken-word poetry that included either aggressive enunciations of “clitoris” or a line about how “justice” ain’t “just us” because it “just ain’t for us” 9. Strongly considered selling Pre-Paid Legal 8. Either had sex with Timberlands and socks still on or had sex with someone with Timberlands and socks still on 7. Believed…
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Please Stop Inviting Everybody to the Damn Cookout
Look, I know blackness is the gift that keeps on giving. I know how awesome we are, and can understand why sweet potato pie tops pumpkin pie, that we effortlessly create and inform pop culture, and why folks set aside their good sense and pride to get next to us or be like us. And…
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10 Easy Costumes for Black People Who Aren’t Really Into Halloween Like That but Still Want to Have Fun
Requirements: A “full beard with no mustache” mask. Patchouli-marinated dashiki over some joggers and Polo boots. A white blow-up doll (your date). Absolutely, positively, no lotion. Requirements: Chinos and Sperry docksiders (if male) or whatever the fuck is in Stacey Dash’s closet (if female). Shirts, slacks and dresses limited to four colors: red, white, blue…
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Yeah, We Did That: The 7 Most Embarrassing Moments in Blackness
Before there was bottle service, there was the Bull. There was once a time in black history when we as a people consumed drinks with names like King Cobra, Colt 45 and Magnum voluntarily and without a hint of irony. We’d get loaded on high-gravity malted swill and spend an evening pointing out one another’s…
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You Should Always Have Black People Around to Consult on Lotion (and on Pepsi, HBO, the New York Times … )
I don’t remember much from my collegiate graduation ceremony, but I do remember this highlight from our commencement speaker, the Oprah Winfrey: Growing up, my grandmother told me that if I worked really hard, I could find some good white people to work for. And I’m proud to say that today … I’ve got some…
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10 Simple and Subtle and Easy Things I Do Every Day to Fight White Supremacy
White supremacy is like a wave at sea crashing into a beach—an unstoppable and transformative force, shifting sand, ferrying debris and constructing America’s topographical landscape. This is why, sometimes, you have to do what I used to do when at the wave pool as a kid, when I’d wait for the waves to come in,…
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What We’re Gonna Do When the Revolution Comes
I’ve recently come across some articles and heard the latest theories about the phenomenon of white anxiety as a precursor to the rise of the era of Trump and Trumpism. Essentially, there’s an overwhelming sense of dread that, based on impending demographic trends, has old white people especially worried about their place in the food…
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Judge of Characters: Rooting For All the Black People
This week, Issa Rae said what we all thought and what we all do at any award ceremony: root for all the black people. And of course, after she said that, many non-black people lost their ever-loving minds, claiming Issa was perpetuating the same racism that proclaims that #BlackLivesMatter. *sigh* That’s not how racism works.…
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Types of Black Privilege, Ranked
20. Just got a fresh shape-up yesterday and everyone’s treating you like you’re a half-inch taller than you actually are privilege 19. While some niggas have to dip themselves in a vat of Palmer’s 3.5-ounce Cocoa Butter Formula every morning just to leave the house, you somehow just never get ashy privilege (an underrated privilege)…
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I’m Not Ashamed of Being Broke and You Shouldn’t Be Either
I am not ashamed of being broke. Broke people make the world go round. Broke people are the original recyclers, the pioneers of creative reuse, the inventors of the most delicious, innovative foods and the people who keep hope alive in this country. I would like to restore broke to its original glory like Fred…