basketball
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The Denver Nuggets Lost More Than Jamal Murray, They Just Lost Their Only Shot At an NBA Title
Athletes love to tell you that they don’t fear anything but God and taxes, but there are two words that strike fear into even the most courageous heart: non-contact injury. On Monday, Jamal Murray made his triumphant return to the lineup after missing the last four games with a knee injury. Unfortunately for him, his…
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Steph Curry Moonwalks Past Wilt Chamberlain to Become Golden State Warriors' All-Time Scorer
It’s been a long-ass season for Steph Curry. The current incarnation of the Golden State Warriors (26-28) doesn’t exactly strike fear in the hearts of opponents, which means every night, the Baby-Faced Assassin has to go supernova just to give his team a fighting chance at victory. So with rookie James Wiseman out with a…
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Kyrie Is Not Your Negro
As Kyrie Irving made abundantly clear this weekend, the n-word isn’t for everybody. While there are people like myself who can’t recall the last time they didn’t deploy it as a term of endearment, a convenient expression of excitement or confusion, or a final warning before violence ensues, there are also people like our former…
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Random Acts of Shaqness: Shaq Pays Off Engagement Ring for Man at Jewelry Store
I don’t pride myself on a lot of things, but aside from my mutant ability to consume an extraordinarily high volume of crab legs, I genuinely try to be kind. I say “please” and “thank you” when applicable; I ask waiters, “How are you doing today?,” I don’t cuss out cashiers when they’re stingy with…
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Kevin Durant Returns From 23-Game Absence Just to Remind Everyone the NBA Finals Are Over Before They Even Begin
Kevin Durant, who was last seen getting fined $50,000 for calling some attention-starved white boy a “pale pasty cum guzzling bitch,” made his triumphant return to the court last night. Did you hear? After missing the last 23 games with the left hamstring strain from hell, KD came off the bench in the second quarter…
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Hubert Davis Was So Close to Having a Forgettable Press Conference
The first 38 minutes of Hubert Davis’ introductory press conference as the new men’s basketball head coach at the University of North Carolina hit each of the points that new hires for high-profile coaching gigs are expected to. He was gracious, emotional, and humble. He told the story of his own journey to North Carolina…
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Is It Friday? Because Paul Pierce Managed to Get Fired on His Day Off
Paul Pierce has had a week, and it’s only Tuesday. The former NBA star turned heads over the weekend when he went live on Instagram to document a night of twerking, neck massages, and general debauchery. Apparently, the sports analyst forgot he worked for the House of Mouse, and on Monday night it was announced…
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Pepsi Announces Deal as Part of Racial Equality Initiative With Southwestern Athletic Conference, Thanks to a Little Help From Deion Sanders
With the Jackson State Tigers playing on ESPN for the first time since the 1980s, coach Deion Sanders didn’t exactly have the weekend he had hoped for after his team got blown out 34-14 by Southern. But even though Jackson State caught a vicious L on Saturday, they still have plenty to celebrate. From USA…
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I Ain't One to Gossip, but Paul Pierce Might've Had a Mid-Life Crisis This Weekend and Was Stupid Enough to Put It on IG Live
Disney is notoriously strict when it comes to the behavior of its stars both on and off-screen, and while I’m not sure if those same rules apply to ESPN employees—the sports juggernaut was acquired by the House of Mouse back in 1995—I would imagine that after his actions this weekend, NBA great Paul Pierce spent…