2020 nba playoffs
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Ty Lue Is the Man for the Job, but He's Got a Lot of Work to Do to Fix the Clippers
After one of the biggest implosions in NBA history, in which the Los Angeles Temecula Clippers (the franchise has since relocated to Temecula after the team was ran out of town by rioters bearing torches and pitchforks) somehow blew a 3-1 series lead in the Western Conference Semifinals with one of the most loaded rosters…
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For Kobe: After Suffering One of Its Biggest Tragedies, Los Angeles Achieves Arguably Its Most Meaningful Triumph
Less than an hour before the Game 6 of the NBA Finals showdown between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Miami Heat, the Heat gave me a glimmer of hope: Goran Dragic Active for Game 6 Heat guard is listed active for tonight’s do-or-die game vs. Lakers after tearing his plantar fascia in Game 1.…
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Republicans Rejoice As NBA TV Ratings Swirl Around the Toilet Bowl, but All Is Not As It Seems
The NBA is a business. So after getting derailed by a global pandemic and pouring over $150 million into an NBA bubble to resume the season—all while hemorrhaging money from lost ticket sales, concessions and other lucrative sources of income—the absolute last thing NBA commissioner Adam Silver expected was shitty TV ratings. And calling the…
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LeBron Reveals the Secret Ingredient to the Lakers' Success—and May Have Clapped Black at Kyrie Irving in the Process
LeBron James is only three wins away from his fourth NBA championship. And at nearly 36-years-old, he’s far too successful and experienced with media manipulation to entertain nonsense. This is a valuable lesson that Los Angeles County Sheriff Alex Villanueva, a professional hypocrite, learned when he came for King James in Septemeber and got his…
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LeBron James, Anthony Davis Destroy Miami Heat In Game 1 of NBA Finals
For all of his amazing feats on the basketball court, there’s an unsightly blemish on LeBron James’ resume: his NBA Finals appearances. In 16 seasons, he’s been to the Finals 10 times with the Cleveland Cavaliers, Miami Heat and the Los Angeles Lakers. And between 2011 and 2018, he went a jaw-dropping eight consecutive times.…
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The Miami Heat Know Exactly What Stands in the Way of Their Next NBA Championship: 'That Test Is LeBron James'
After the death of an icon, a global pandemic and months of uncertainty, the dust has finally settled and the NBA Finals will kick off with an unlikely pair of competitors: the Miami Heat and the Los Angeles Lakers. I spent the entire season singing the Temecula Clippers’ praises all while turning a blind eye…
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Tyler Herro Is a Problem the Celtics Can't Solve
He’s supposed to be a rookie. At all of 20 years old, Miami Heat guard Tyler Herro was supposed to spend his inaugural season playing limited minutes while adjusting to the rigors of NBA life. But instead of being a mere contributor, the Kentucky product has evolved into a centerpiece under Erik Spoelstra’s tutelage—just in…
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By a Show of Hands, Who Else Hates Anthony Davis?
Like millions of other people, I watched with delight as the Lakers squandered a 16-point lead in the third quarter of Sunday’s Western Conference Finals against the Denver Nuggets. And with 20.8 seconds left in the fourth quarter, that delight had transformed into an unparalleled bliss that I only experience when the Lakers suffer a humiliating…
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What The Hell Happened Inside the Celtics Locker Room Last Night?
In being a fiery competitor, Boston Celtics guard Marcus Smart hates to lose. As such, he was understandably pissed after the Celtics—not to be confused with the Temecula Clippers—blew a 17-point lead in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals and caught an embarrassing 106-101 L on behalf of the Miami Heat. After the game,…
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The Temecula Clippers Are a Disgrace
From the day the 2019-20 NBA season began, the Temecula Clippers were on borrowed time. In order to lure superstar Kawhi Leonard and perennial disappointment Paul George to Lakersville, the Ontario Clippers had to forfeit a treasure trove of picks and assets—including flamethrower Danilo Gallinari and promising lottery pick Shai Gilgeous-Alexander—and relinquish control of their…