Politics
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Lori Lightfoot Begins Dismantling Chicago’s Corrupt Aldermanic System Her First Day in Office
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, and Lori Lightfoot did not come here to play. On day one of her new position as mayor of Chicago—making her the first black woman to lead the city—Lightfoot is working to overhaul Chicago’s tradition of “aldermanic privilege” that grants the 50 members of the City Council,…
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Biden’s World: Joe Flexing a Commanding Lead in New Poll
Americans know a mediocre thing when they see one, and they’re warming up to warming up 2015’s leftovers for the Oval Office, according to a new poll. If the numbers are to be believed, the “NBA Jam” announcer could soon inform us that the former Delaware congressman is on fire. In a poll conducted by…
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West Point Graduates Most Diverse Class Ever, Ruins It With Mike Pence Speech
If you’re like me, you wish your wife and loved ones would stop complaining about your ballooning weed budget. If you’re like me, you’ve likely also taken the time during a movie about some evil villain, or regime, or crime figure to consider if villains ever take the time to stop and wonder if they’re…
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Trump Sends 1,500 Troops to Middle East Because We’re Not Going to War With Iran
President Donald Trump proclaimed earlier this month that he wasn’t going to war with Iran. Then, in less than a fortnight, Trump is now sending some 1,500 troops to the Middle East after a series of barroom-style confrontations about who can end what and when. On Friday, it was announced that the deployment of troops…
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Trump Posts Fake News on Twitter, Shares Spliced Video of Nancy Pelosi Stumbling Over Her Words
President Trump is so scared of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) that he had to post a spliced video of her stumbling over her words because he doesn’t know how to deal with powerful women who think he’s a damn idiot. On Thursday evening, during what is also known as the “Hey big head, you…
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Handwritten Note Proves Trump Is a Dotard as He 'Intentially' Sought to Bash Democrats' 'Achomlishments'
The president of the United States doesn’t just act like a third grader, he spells like one who has refused to go to school and instead sits in his room and makes deals with Russians while touting himself as the biggest billionaire the world has ever seen. After Trump’s planned walkout of a scheduled meeting…
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Maine Becomes 1st State in the Nation to Outlaw Native American Mascots in All Public Schools
One down; 49 more to go. Maine has become the first state in the country to ban the use of Native American mascots at any of its public schools, colleges or universities. Gov. Janet Mills, a Democrat, signed the ban into law last week, and it will go into effect 90 days after the state…
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How Do You Know When the President Is Lying? Sarah ‘Suckabee’ Sanders’ Mouth Is Moving
White House press secretary Sarah “Suckabee” Sanders, a.k.a. Satan’s favorite kitten heel, said Thursday that President Trump didn’t plan his abrupt departure from a meeting with congressional leaders and he just happened to have a cardboard cutout with figures pasted to a podium for his impromptu speech in the Rose Garden. Sanders claimed that Trump…
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Maze Will Stop Featuring Frankie Beverly Before Harriet Tubman Makes It Onto the $20 Bill
Let’s be clear about this: President Donald Trump, the white nationalist president who appeals to racist Midwesterners and Southerners by leaning into his racist charm, never wanted a black woman on American currency. Hell, he said as much when he was just regular Russian-citizen Trump. As a candidate, Trump said that putting the former slave…