Politics
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Trump’s Personal Assistant Resigns Because She Couldn’t Stop Flossin’ and Spilling Tea
A white woman with arguably the whitest name ever is no longer working in the Whitest House after reports that she shared some inner secrets about the president’s family with reporters. According to Politico, Madeleine Westerhout, of the New England Westerhouts (I have no idea if there is Westerhout lineage in New England, but it…
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Alabama’s Governor Apologizes for Wearing Blackface in Her Youth—Because of Course She Did
Months after saying she didn’t know nothing about her sorority’s college yearbook page showing women in blackface, Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey on Thursday issued an apology about having worn blackface herself in a separate incident as an undergraduate at Auburn University. According to the Montgomery Advertiser, the governor, perhaps more nationally known this year for…
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Yes, the President Patted His Leg for Melania to Walk to Him Like a Dog and Let’s Stop Acting Surprised
If we were going to encapsulate the president’s presidency in one moment, it would be a split screen of him placing his McDonald’s order on one side and him admitting to grabbing unsuspecting women by their genitalia on the other. Fine, that’s two moments, but let’s break them down, shall we? Nothing says I’m a…
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Watch: Chris Cuomo Cuts Trump Minion Interview Short After She Refuses to Admit the President Lies
CNN host Chris Cuomo once threatened to throw a guy down a flight of stairs for calling him “Fredo.” And by once, I mean earlier this month. So it’s with that I say that Cuomo has little patience for dumb shit. On Wednesday he had Kayleigh McEnany, a spokeswoman for President Trump’s reelection campaign, on…
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In Death Threat Against Ilhan Omar, Writer Vows to Shoot Congresswoman at Minnesota State Fair
Dogged by death threats and public attacks, Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar revealed in a chilling Twitter post on Wednesday why she requires a security detail. “I hate that we live in a world where you have to be protected from fellow humans. I hated it as a child living through war and I hate it…
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State Democratic Leaders to Presidential Hopefuls: Remember Y’all Ain’t Barack Obama
Barack Obama may still be Democrats’ (and just about everyone else’s) fave, but party leaders weren’t too happy when he decided to form a competitive political group, Organizing for Action. Now, the current crop of leading Democratic presidential hopefuls have pledged that they won’t do the same if they get the chance to sit in…
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Can Someone Tell Trump that Puerto Rico Is a Territory of the US? Maybe Then He’ll Stop Treating Them Like Trash
Because the fear of another natural disaster isn’t enough to deal with, the people of Puerto Rico have to now deal with President Trump bashing them on Twitter. On Wednesday, the perpetually abusive husband to America tweeted out that the U.S. territory of Puerto Rico is one of the “most corrupt places on earth.” Did…
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Trump Reportedly Told Aides Not to Worry About Breaking the Law to Get the Wall Built Because He’ll Pardon Them
President Donald Trump needs the wall, some wall, any wall to be built before November 2020 or his presidency will be seen as an abject failure by those still left on the Trump Titanic. This wall—the physical symbol of racial hatred—which will span the U.S.-Mexico border, has become the standard for which Trump will be…
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Remember When Trump Called Baltimore Rat Infested? He Should Know Since He Tried to End the City’s Federal Rat Control Funding
The president of white nationalism has a tendency to talk badly about places where people of color live. He reportedly called African nations “shithole countries” and more recently, referred to Baltimore as “rat-infested.” Well, it turns out President Splinter was well-informed of Baltimore’s rat problems considering he tried to cut their rat-elimination funding. For those…
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Trump Administration Diverts FEMA Disaster Relief Money to Keep More Migrants in Cages
The Department of Homeland Security informed Congress this week that it will reallocate $271 million from its budget, including disaster aid, to the U.S.-Mexico border to support the Trump administration’s stringent immigration policies. DHS confirmed the transfer at the height of hurricane season in the Atlantic; as I write this, Tropical Storm Dorian continues its…