Some Thoughts
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Should You Wear Blackface? A Guide
I was yesterday years old when I realized how much white people love blackface. I had always known it was a popular Caucasian Halloween activity because every year, a high school teacher or a bank executive pops up dressed as Kanye West or Esther Rolle at the local all-whites fall festival. It’s funny that these…
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Sarah Sanders Said God ‘Wanted Donald Trump to Become President.’ God Responds
On Wednesday, White House Spokesliar Sarah Suckabee Sanders told the Christian Broadcasting Network that she believes God wanted Donald Trump to be president of the United States, according to a transcript of the interview provided to CNN. “I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that…
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You Can’t Be Mad at Big Boi and Travis Scott If You Watch the NFL
Oh, sometimes as we struggle it will be necessary to boycott. But let us remember as we boycott that a boycott is never an end. A boycott is merely means to awaken within the oppressor the sense of shame and to let him know that we don’t like how we are being treated. – Martin…
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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: How I Killed the Kwanzaa Carol
If I’m ever sent to prison on charges of first-degree blackness or mayonnaise-related hate speech, I will probably have to do my time in solitary confinement. I’m pretty sure there are prison gangs that are waiting to stab me with a shank made out of a Bic pen to get a teardrop tattoo symbolizing that…
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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: How the Grinch Stole Ujamaa
Here’s a lie you often hear: “I grew up in the hood. And because I was smart, all the cool kids and the gangstas bullied me and beat me up.” If you talk to anyone who ever knew me, none of them would describe me as cool. Even though I was the least intimidating person…
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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: Stories About the Turkey Bacon of Holidays
I like turkey bacon. I realize that turkey bacon is essentially a ribbon of bologna meat, but as someone who grew up in a super-religious household and was raised by an uber-religious mother, I never had bacon (or any of the popular pork-related meats) until I was an adult. Don’t get me wrong, I knew…
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Here's 10 Black-Ass Predictions to Consider Since No One Really Knows What the Hell is Going to Happen in 2019
When it comes to predicting the future, I tend to listen to the wisdom of the black women in my family. Grandmamas, mothers, aunts, play aunts, doesn’t matter, their dreams are damn near unassailable when it comes to predicting your impending future death. (“Baby, I saw you on a train headed straight towards a mountain.…
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A Couple Photographed Themselves Having Sex at the Great Pyramid and I Have Questions
A couple who took selfies while engaged in what appears to be a sexual act atop one of the Eight Wonders of the World (my aunt Phyllis’ fried chicken was recently approved by the World Wonder sanctioning body) has sparked international outrage and prompted a necessary question: Why, though? According to the Guardian, Danish photographer…