Opinion
-
Crazy White People News Roundup: Swords, Shafts and Becky With the Bad Attitude
Every so often, for the sake of equal time, we find it useful to take our focus off of the negro-related news and see what white people have been up to, lately. To be fair, it is partly out of jealousy and envy. I often wonder why there is no equivalent to WorldStarHipHop that just…
-
The Root's Clapback Mailbag: For Your Consideration
One day soon, we’re probably going to have the Clapback Mailbag Awards. We’re working on a sponsor to present this idea with the prestige it deserves. Hopefully, we can convince a mail company like UPS or FedEx to pony up the money for the statues (which will probably be called the “golden envelope”). Or maybe…
-
Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: How I Killed the Kwanzaa Carol
If I’m ever sent to prison on charges of first-degree blackness or mayonnaise-related hate speech, I will probably have to do my time in solitary confinement. I’m pretty sure there are prison gangs that are waiting to stab me with a shank made out of a Bic pen to get a teardrop tattoo symbolizing that…
-
Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: How the Grinch Stole Ujamaa
Here’s a lie you often hear: “I grew up in the hood. And because I was smart, all the cool kids and the gangstas bullied me and beat me up.” If you talk to anyone who ever knew me, none of them would describe me as cool. Even though I was the least intimidating person…
-
The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Birds, Boxes and Other Bullshit No One Believes
So, ummm … about this Birdbox thing. Wait. We’ll get to that. But before that, y’all know what this is. Our clapback congregation meets weekly to discuss these matters. Each Friday, we faithfully go through the emails, comments, tweets and messages to explain, apologize or elaborate on the things that caused consternation among The Root’s…
-
Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: Stories About the Turkey Bacon of Holidays
I like turkey bacon. I realize that turkey bacon is essentially a ribbon of bologna meat, but as someone who grew up in a super-religious household and was raised by an uber-religious mother, I never had bacon (or any of the popular pork-related meats) until I was an adult. Don’t get me wrong, I knew…
-
Here's 10 Black-Ass Predictions to Consider Since No One Really Knows What the Hell is Going to Happen in 2019
When it comes to predicting the future, I tend to listen to the wisdom of the black women in my family. Grandmamas, mothers, aunts, play aunts, doesn’t matter, their dreams are damn near unassailable when it comes to predicting your impending future death. (“Baby, I saw you on a train headed straight towards a mountain.…
-
The Root's Clapback Mailbag: A Visit From St. Clapback
Twas the Friday before Christmas, when all through the siteNot a creature was angry, except for the whitesThe mailbag was filled with Caucasians seeing redAbout words we had written and stuff that we said When in my inbox there arose such a clatterI logged in to my email to see what was the matterIt turns…
-
The Root's Clapback Mailbag: The Gray Area
For too long, The Root has ignored an important segment of our readership. In our eagerness to answer the emails, tweets and messages, we have failed to address our biggest fans: The grays. If you are new to The Root or Kinja in general, you should know that comments are approved by other readers or…