Opinion
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: The Gray Area
If you are a regular reader of The Root (or any of the G/O Media sites), then you might be familiar with the ghetto section of our sites that we term “The Grays.” The Grays is the area containing comments that are “pending approval” and appear as grayed out, unlike the good, white comments. I…
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Wendy Bell, America's Worst White Woman, Is Back (and Wants to Kill Your Grandparents)
I imagine that, if you’ve never heard of Wendy Bell, you find her anointment as America’s Worst White Woman to be suspicious. “Who is this mystery woman,” I picture you asking, “who somehow beat Ann Coulter, Abigail Fisher, and Toejam Lobotomy to be America’s worst white woman? How is she the LeBron of Karens?” Well,…
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The Difference Between a ‘Karen’ and a ‘Becky,’ Explained
Merriam-Webster defines “Becky” as “a white woman who is ignorant of both her privilege and her prejudice.”
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Bubble Guppies, Explained
What is a Bubble Guppy? No idea. None? No. A Bubble Guppy could be at my desk, right now, on a FaceTime call with Jason Derulo, and all I’d be thinking is “Where are his pants?” Whose pants? I don’t know. You’re not making any sense. Ask better questions. Okay. So why are you doing…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Coronavirus Is Racism
No, hear me out… Like COVID-19, there’s always one person who understands the danger of racism while wholeheartedly believing, “Everyone else might get it, but not me. I’m immune.”Like this letter: From: JakkiTo: Michael Harriot Michael…I hope you’ll read this for a second. There are a lot of white folks that aren’t actually “white” Jewish…
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Please Say 'Sike'
April Fools is a white holiday and I hate it. I even hate the word “prank.” It sounds like a fart that accidentally came out of a penis. Pranks. How many black people do you know who were involved in a prank? Even its synonyms are stupid. I bet you’ve never witnessed a negro “caper.”…
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10 Things Everyone Loves but I Pretty Much Hate
So there’s an unpopular opinion prompt thing going around Facebook—where you’re asked to list 10 things everyone loves but you kinda hate. I sometimes get annoyed with these sort of things because people don’t follow the rules and just start listing things that everyone hates (“1. funerals.”), but thankfully people haven’t been doing that with…
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How to Play Black Spades, Part 3: We Finna Play
Now that you have read parts one and two of our tutorials on how to play black America’s favorite pastime, it is time to learn the official way to play Black Spades. These rules have been adapted from Bicycle Playing Card’s version of white Spades. There are three objects of every game of Black Spades:…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: What Is We Doing?
Today’s mailbag is dedicated to the people who are laughed at, made fun of and dismissed as a joke. Every day, the entire staff at The Root engages in a brutal act of bullying against certain members of our team. It’s becoming institutional and I’m tired of it. Whenever any person suggests that we cover…
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How to Play Black Spades, Part 2: The Glossary
Welcome back to The Root University’s tutorial on how to play spades. As we discussed earlier, this guide will not make you a great spades player. Its intended purpose is to introduce you to the basic structure of the game and prevent your relatives at the next family reunion from looking at you like you…