Family Matters
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Give the Gift of Chill: Letting Your Black Atheist Family Live on Christmas
I used to love Christmas. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t hate Christmas now, and this isn’t one of those melancholic “ghost of Christmas magic” essays. My eyes still light up when I see a beautiful holiday display, and it’s the only time you’ll ever get me to admit that snow can be beautiful. I still…
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Kellyanne Conway's Husband Hates Kellyanne Conway's Boss More than We Do
The Conways are back to (M)ake (A)crimony (G)reat (A)gain. Thursday night saw Republican Twitter renegade George Conway hit his own wife with the Dikembe finger via Twitter, after Kellyanne stopped by CNN to defend her kumquat-tinted boss to Chris Cuomo against the claims made by former kumquat counsel Michael Cohen. “You just like to say ‘the…
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For Parents Whose Blood Pressure Gets Raised Because of Product Recalls When ’Tussin and Wine Ain’t Enough
I was driving my daughter to school this morning, gleefully coasting across the Washington, D.C., area’s Woodrow Wilson Bridge, named after possibly the most racist president of all time, a true accomplishment considering that several presidents actually owned slaves, when my phone buzzed. Like many folks, I get an alarming (no pun intended) number of…
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If You Don't Have the Keys, Don't Pack the Truck
2010 was a transitional year for me. A three-year relationship ended in the early part of the year, we had to move out of the house we lived in and go our separate ways, and I had to figure out a new life as a single man but one with a child. Life was different…
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My Little Girl Turns Three Today. Here’s a Story About My Dad, Her ‘Peepaw’
In the summer of 1990, each day the weather and his schedule permitted, my dad and I would leave our rowhouse on Mellon Street and walk four blocks up Hays Street to the basketball courts lurking behind what was then Peabody High School. Once there, we’d park at one of the “good” hoops — either…
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The Survival Guide to Black Thanksgiving
Although I am known mostly for my groundbreaking research in wypipology and cookout studies, my family background has given me extensive experience in Thanksgiving-related arts and sciences. Seriously. Because I was raised in a family of women who love to cook and are saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost, we never had family…
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‘Lullabies to Lies’: The Release Date of Samantha Markle’s Tell-All Coincides With Meghan’s Due Date
If this doesn’t make you more thankful for your family this Thanksgiving, I extend my sincerest condolences. Apparently, the Markle family hasn’t gotten the memo that Her Royal Highness Meghan is living her best life and ain’t goin’ back and forth with them anymore—or maybe they have, since at least one member is still making…
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Our Parents Might Not Have Known Better About Spanking. We Do
In two weeks, my daughter will be 3 years old. And then, two weeks after her birthday, if things happen when we’re expecting them to, she’ll be a big sister. This will make me, for lack of a better term, a fucking dad. I mean, I’ve been a dad already for (almost) three years. But…