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Paul George Fights Through Depression, Anxiety to Drop 35 Points in Blowout Win
Something was wrong with Paul George. Yes, his season has been marred by injuries, and we’re still not entirely convinced he’s fully adapted to his new team, but entering the playoffs, the Clippers were supposed to be a juggernaut. Thanks to his poor play, his team was anything but. But after blossoming demigod Luka Doncic…
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Usain Bolt Can Outrun Everything but the Coronavirus
Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt is fast as shit. However, he isn’t fast enough to outrun a virus that has infected almost 24 million people throughout the globe: COVID-19. Days after hosting a flashy birthday bash to celebrate his 34th trip around the sun, ESPN reports that yes, Bolt has been diagnosed with #ThatRona—as confirmed…
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Los Angeles City Council Announces Street Will Be Renamed Kobe Bryant Boulevard: 'He Is the City'
In NBA circles, Staples Center in Downtown Los Angeles is commonly known as The House That Kobe Built. And now a portion of Figueroa Street in its immediate vicinity will be renamed after one of the greatest professional athletes who ever lived. ESPN reports that on Monday, celebrated locally as Kobe Bryant Day, Los Angeles…
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NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Sheds White Tears for Colin Kaepernick: 'I Wish We Had Listened Earlier'
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is sorry. And no, I don’t mean contrite. I mean he’s a fucking clown—with the red nose, clown car and oversized shoes to match. He’s the exact type of “ally” Black people don’t need. The kind who magically appear once the dust settles and bloviates about what he would’ve done differently…
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Who Invited Luka Doncic to the Cookout?
In the weeks leading up to the 2018 NBA Draft, front offices throughout the league were divided into two factions: there were those who were skeptical about how Luka Doncic’s skill set would translate to the NBA and those who hailed him as the second coming of The Terminator. I mean, sure, he was terrorizing…
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Jalen Rose, New York Post Unveil Multiplatform Partnership, The Renaissance Man
Jalen Rose is a man of many talents. After 13 seasons in the NBA, he’s blossomed into a celebrated journalist, mastermind behind the Jalen Rose Leadership Academy, New York Times best-selling author, noted social justice advocate and possessor of the crispiest hairline in the history of Western civilization. He’s a renaissance man. And in staying…
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Fate Continues to Laugh In the Face of the New York Knicks After Minnesota Timberwolves Win No. 1 Pick In NBA Draft
There’s bad luck, “an unfortunate set of circumstances,” being outright cursed and the New York Knicks. Heading into Thursday night’s NBA Lottery, the same team that missed out on the Zion Williamson sweepstakes last summer, then scared off Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving as free agents, had a nine percent chance of landing the No. 1…
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Terry Crews Twitter Wants to Speak to the Manager After Kansas City Chiefs Ban Headdresses, Face Paint
While the majority of us have enough sense to know that cultures should not be treated as costumes, there are those of us who would much rather dress up as “pow wow princesses” during Halloween or attend Kansas City Chiefs games rocking bootleg war bonnets. The Chiefs have dissuaded their fans from engaging in this…
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NBA Twitter Destroys Paul Pierce After He Spews More Foolishness About LeBron James
If real estate is such a lucrative business venture, then can somebody please explain to me how LeBron James has spent so many years living rent-free in Paul Pierce’s head? For context, It’s already been firmly established that the 10-time NBA All-Star is a fucking hater. But the Celtics great took his disdain for all…
