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Your Disdain for Facebook Messenger Is Warranted. Social Network Comes Clean About Transcribing Your DMs
Everybody hates Facebook Messenger. Since its debut in 2011, it has been accused of being clunky, intrusive and untrustworthy, while its billions of users have kicked and screamed at being bullied into having to use it. But despite its glaring flaws, it also serves as a convenient method to engage with obnoxious relatives or to…
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Mystikal Busted His Ass for All Our Sins and There’s Video Evidence to Prove It
Since I’ve spent my entire morning laughing at this shit, I suppose I’ll share with the rest of the class now. TMZ reports that some guy named Mystikal, who somehow ranks higher than Jadakiss on Panama Jackson’s list of greatest rappers of all-time, caught the L of the century when he fell off the stage…
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After the Latest Pair of Mass Shootings, Betty White Has Become a Meme and White People Aren't Happy About It
Betty White is a national treasure. The comedian and actress has been doing the damn thing since what feels like the dawn of time, and even at 97 years of age she still makes it a point to bless us all with her trademark spunk and sass. But this shit is funny. I first saw…
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Cyntoia Brown Is Finally Free
After serving 15 years behind bars, Cyntoia Brown is finally free. CNN reports that Brown, who has spent almost half of her life incarcerated, was released from the Tennessee Prison for Women on Wednesday, according to the Tennessee Department of Corrections. In January, then-Gov. Bill Haslam granted her clemency as one of his final acts in…
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Home of Elijah Cummings Was Burglarized and President Petty Responded Exactly as You'd Expect Him To
Hours before our Imbecile-in-Chief took to Twitter on Saturday to unleash his latest diatribe on the city of Baltimore comes the revelation that the home of Rep. Elijah Cummings was burglarized. Cummings, who serves as chairman of the House Oversight Committee and whose district includes Baltimore and neighboring Maryland suburbs, has much more important things…
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Neil deGrasse Tyson Retains Position as Director of Hayden Planetarium After Sexual Misconduct Investigation
Acclaimed astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson will retain his position as the director of the Hayden Planetarium at New York’s American Museum of Natural History after the museum has concluded its investigation into sexual misconduct allegations leveled against him. According to the New York Times, the museum released the following statement on Saturday: “The museum’s investigation…
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White Professor Accuses Historically Black Tuskegee University of Age, Racial Discrimination: 'It's Just Wrong'
Here’s something I never thought I’d live to see: a historically black college has been slapped with a lawsuit alleging age and racial discrimination—by a white guy. According to the Daily Beast, the school in question is Alabama’s Tuskegee University, which is being sued by its own 73-year-old physics professor and one-time Teacher of the…
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#ProposingWhileBlack: Manager Fired, Security Team Replaced After Interrupting Wedding Proposal With Racial Profiling
After being accused of racially profiling a black couple during their wedding proposal, several Angry Orchard employees are now former Angry Orchard employees. People reports that unlike President Nincompoop, owners of the brewery want no parts of being affiliated with racist behavior. In a statement, Angry Orchard announced that they’d fired a manager and replaced…
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'Does That Mean That the Dictionary is Now Racist?': Diamond and Silk Stump for Trump in Failed Nancy Pelosi Clapback
Diamond and Silk live to say stupid things. As the GOP’s sock puppets of choice and ardent proponents of all things loud and wrong, Shuck and Jive aren’t always there when you call, but they’re always on time to deliver their unique brand of high-decibel absurdity with a side of contrived blather. In their latest…
