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10 Things My Black Paranoia Saved Me From
Hi. I’m black and I’m a man. That makes me a black man (by default), and that means I’m paranoid as fuck. Like, I’m pretty sure you’re plotting against me right now, so I’m looking at you crazy. Or at least you might could be. In fact, who is you? Is you is or is…
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A Prayer for White People Who Don’t Understand That Black Love Doesn’t Mean White Hate (Sometimes)
Congregation of St. Panama Jackson the United Methodist Baptist Pentecostal AME Church of God in Christ Episcopal Primitive Missionary Baptist Downward Dog Down by the Riverside Holiness Church, please bow your heads: Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce newborn infant Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent, I…
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Hey Y’all, Ray J’s Musical Career Ain’t Half Bad
First, tuck your judgment; it’s not necessary. Second, listen with your mind, not your heart. Your heart made you side-eye the living shit out of the title, but your mind may be a little more open-minded. That’s a pun. Get it? I’m sure you do. Before we get into the shenanigans, a few ground rules…
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Is There a Such Thing as a Dumb Question? Yes. That Was a Dumb Question
One of the most common refrains heard in school and workplace conference rooms is that there’s no such thing as a dumb question, OR, if there is such a thing, the only dumb question is the one that goes unasked. I hate to tell you this, but that shit is absolutely false, ludicrous and Plymouth…
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It’s Official: Midnight Marauders by A Tribe Called Quest Is My Favorite Hip-Hop Album of All Time
The 1993 classic has taken over all contenders at this point
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My Girlfriend Took Her 1st Trip Down South*. Here’s What Happened
One of the most enlightening conversations I had in college happened with a friend of mine who went to Spelman College and is from Nigeria. We were out at IHOP (I think; probably a safe assumption because we pretty much lived at IHOP), and she was telling a few of us about her preconceived notions…
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A List of Places I’d Never Order Grits From
I was recently in Roanoke, Ala., and ventured to McDonald’s because my children are obsessed with chicken nuggets like most American children are. I don’t know what they put in those things, but they’re mm-mm good. Also, how have fast-food prices been the same forever? Inquiring minds would like to know. Anyway, upon reaching the…
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5 Things to Keep in Mind When Watching Today’s Solar Eclipse: The Black Edition
Hi. In case you’ve been living under a rock, you know that today, throughout this fine nation of ours, at various times, you will be able to see AT LEAST a partial solar eclipse. What is a solar eclipse? Glad you asked. It’s when the moon passes between the sun and the Earth, partially blocking…
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How Trump Ruined My Relationship With My White Mother
Like most of America, I’ve had a week. Whereas Charlottesville, Va., touched off a week of necessary discussions, debates and arguments centering largely on our president’s ignorance and emboldening of the very real problems in America, I’ve had exhausting, draining and, ultimately, disappointing arguments about America’s race problem within my own house with my mother.…
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I Bought an Apple Watch 2. I Wasted $399 (Plus Tax) on an Apple Watch 2
I’m an Apple products guy. I’ve been exclusively an iPhone user since 2008 (I believe) when I chucked my T-Mobile Sidekick LX. My personal computers of choice are all Apples. There are three iPads in my home. I own an Apple TV, and when I’m hungry, I eat apples. We don’t play with our Apple…
