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A List of Places I’d Never Order Grits From
I was recently in Roanoke, Ala., and ventured to McDonald’s because my children are obsessed with chicken nuggets like most American children are. I don’t know what they put in those things, but they’re mm-mm good. Also, how have fast-food prices been the same forever? Inquiring minds would like to know. Anyway, upon reaching the…
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Safaree Might Be the Funnest Coconut Salesman of All Time
When Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood debuted a few seasons ago, I was all in for one reason and one reason only: Willie Ray Norwood Jr., aka Ray J, aka Ray J da Gawd. There are very few celebrities who, in my estimation, provide as much unintentional entertainment as Ray. From playing piano for Floyd…
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A Slightly Premature Full Length Discussion About Kendrick Lamar’s New Album, DAMN.
Dustin Seibert and I decided to discuss Kendrick Lamar’s latest proper album release, DAMN. because what else are we supposed to do when one of the biggest artists in the game today drops a project? Exactly. Panama: At roughly 11pm EST last night, I was alerted via Facebook that Kung Fu Kenny’s latest will-be-hailed-as-a-classic album…
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Queen Sugar Hits This Dad Right in the Feels
I love Queen Sugar. Let’s start there. I’d take Queen Sugar on a $200 date, juju on the beat with it, and cook greens, beans, tomatoes and potatoes just so it would have something to take home in case it got hungry. For those who aren’t familiar, the Ava DuVernay-helmed show is the story of…
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My Daughter Is Not the Best Dancer in Hip-Hop Class and I Feel a Way About It
I’m a dance dad. While I’m not standing outside the studio yelling at my daughter to get in formation or tighten up those pirouettes, I do find myself at dance class at least once a week and, on special occasions, twice a week. See, my daughter has been taking dance lessons since, I believe, she…
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Janet Jackson’s Albums Are Better Than Michael’s. Fight Me.
Look. I realize that Michael Jackson’s Thriller album is like the fourth best seller in the world behind The Bible, Qu’ran, and rice. I also realize that Michael Jackson is the gold standard for entertainment. Nearly every person who has decided to become not just a singer, but an entertainer, has in some way traced…
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Kidz Bop Is the Best Hustle Ever
For a vast many people who haven’t put birth control to the test (and failed), Kidz Bop isn’t a thing. If you don’t have children, there’s literally zero reason to know of its existence. But for a lot of us with kids old enough to comprehend, process and regurgitate what they hear, the music struggle…
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A Letter to My 3 Black Children About How America Will See Them
Dear children, You are kind. You are smart. You are important. It’s funny to me how a few unintentionally hilarious lines from a movie called The Help, which you will probably never see, actually seem important to say to you today. And every day for the rest of your lives. They’ve always been true words, but…
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Why Jeremih’s Song ‘Oui’ Bothers the Hell Out of Me
I’m not a fan of Jeremih. I’m also not not a fan of Jeremih. In fact, Jeremih exists in a space where I typically forget he exists until one of his songs pops up on a Sirius station I listen to and I read the info and I’m like, “Wow, he’s still around, eh? Well,…
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Do You Really Have to Keep Inviting a Friend to Parties When the Friend Always Says No?
Every day across this land (and presumably across lands across the world), butt-hurt friends and associates get into their feelings about an alleged slight. You’ve been there. I’ve been there. We all scream for ice cream. You’re doing what we all do during the course of the day, skimming your Facebook timeline or perusing Instagram…
