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10 Thoughts I Had Watching a Kayaker Get the Shit Slapped Out of Him With an Octopus by a Seal
1. This is exactly why I don’t fuck with nature. This is also why God made me a black man. More on that later. 2. This might be uncouth, but that seal would catch those hands. No bullshit, I’d have to jump INTO the water, find the seal and we’d have to fight. I can’t…
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Is Otis Williams of The Temptations the Pettiest Man Alive? An Analysis
The Temptations is one of my all-time favorite singing groups. I’m especially a fan of the “Classic Five” lineup (I like to call it their “Death Lineup”—no pun intended) of David Ruffin, Eddie Kendricks, Paul Williams, Melvin Franklin and Otis Williams. Dennis Edwards replacing David Ruffin and singing on their most iconic songs in the…
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A Prayer of Financial Stability for Those Who Keep Losing Their Weaves in the Streets
Let us bow our heads: Father God, I come to you in inquiry and with a hopeful heart. You see, I believe in you and I believe in your methods. You have ordered my steps in your word, dear Lord, and while you lead me and guide me…ev-er-ee daaaaay, I kind of be wondering about…
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Who Would Have Thought Touring a Louisiana Plantation Was a Good Activity for a Bachelor Party Weekend?
I just got back from New Orleans, where a bunch of the homies and I took a Homie Trip to celebrate my upcoming nuptials. While what happens in New Orleans stays on Instagram, there were a few planned activities that were both fun and educational. For instance, we took an airboat tour of a swamp…
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I Ended Up in the Middle of a Street Fight Yesterday. Here's What Happened
Have you ever accidentally ended up in the middle of a fight by sheer virtue of your location and inability to remove yourself from said location. Like say you’re stuck on a ferris wheel cart that sits six people and on the way up, three of the people sharing the cart with you end up…
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19 Different Spoiler-Free Thoughts and Emotions (With GIFs) I Had While Watching the Season 5 Finale of Power
The season five finale of Power aired on Sunday night. Look, for all of the criticisms of Power—and some of it is very, very warranted—when this season got good it got goodt. Delivert goodt. Slap yo’ mama with the same hand that you don’ licked off the barbecue sauce off your fingers goodt. Episodes 8-10?…
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So Black Thought, Phonte and Rhymefest Are Forming a SuperGroup. I Really Hope This Ends Up Dope
The rap world was enraptured for various reasons with the out-of-the-blue release of Eminem’s latest coaster, Kamikaze, for most of this past week. I gave it a few listens and deleted it from my phone library. Eminem is one of those rappers who on technical merits alone is one of the best, if not the…
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Dear People Who Don't Respect Personal Space: WTF Is Wrong With You? I Hate You
I was at the mall the other day procuring some procurables from one of those spots that sells shit. It is my experience that many malls in America have ample free parking, but not the Fashion Centre at Pentagon City, locally know as Pentagon City. Parking is $3 for two hours, $4 hours for three,…
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What We Not Gon' Do Is Act Like Janet Jackson Wouldn't Be With Bobby Brown, Who Was the Absolute Man in the '80s
On the heels of the surprisingly successful The New Edition Story last fall, BET decided to ride the gravy train one more time with the Tuesday release of episode one of The Bobby Brown Story, to be followed by episode 2 on Wednesday night. Much like with New Edition, we followed along on social media with…
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The Schedule for Aretha Franklin’s Funeral Is the Most Optimistic Schedule I’ve Ever Seen in My Entire Black Funeral Life
They gon’ lay Aretha Franklin’s burdens down in Detroit on Friday, Aug. 31. And it’s going to happen in tremendous fashion. Her body has already seen outfit changes fit for a woman whose fashion stylings were as much a part of her charm as her take-no-prisoners attitude about the industry. Queen Aretha is being sent…