-
Dear God, It's Me, Panama. I See Rain in the Forecast for Spelhouse Homecoming Next Weekend. Let's Talk
Dear God, What up, doe!?! How you doing, Big Homie? I be reading the news, so I can tell you’re either super busy or taking naps upon naps. No shade, Big Bro. I’m just saying I noticed that chaos is abundant. You know what, this isn’t starting out well. I really wanted to write you…
-
Dear Drivers Who Veer Left to Turn Right, I Hate You. WTF Is Wrong With You?
This goes out to you and you — you know who you are, so stop me if you’ve heard this one before. You’re driving along a thoroughfare, minding your own business. Maybe you’re even listening to your favorite true-crime podcast as you venture into work, traffic court, or to that Brazilian wax appointment you’ve been putting…
-
Elizabeth Warren May Not Be Native American, But She Might Be Black, Talking About 'I Got Some Indian In My Family'
Earlier this year, several folks in my family (including myself) did some variation of DNA testing. You know what I’m talking about; the tests where you send in your DNA and apparently, the government owns and can clone you, but you get to find out, especially if you’re black, that maybe your family originates from…
-
If You Can, You Should Totally Meet Rick Fox. You Know, Rick. Fox.
One of the fun things about this here semi-charmed life of mine is that over the course of the past, say, 12 years, I’ve had the opportunity to meet more famous folks than I can shake a stick at. At this point, it’s harder for me to remember who all I’ve met; I’ve probably forgotten…
-
I Saw a Spider In My Car Last Night, Then I Lost Sight of Him. Whole Ride Ruined
I do not know the name of the spider who decided to fuck with me while I was driving home last night. He looked like his name could have been Ivan. Or perhaps Svetlana. Maybe even Sharkeisha. What I do know is that this lone-wolf spider decided that he was going to play with my…
-
I Believe the Question of the Blackest Name Ever Has Been Settled by Lil'Jordan Maleak Humphrey
Before we get going here, I’d like to be very, very clear: I’m in no way clowning Lil’Jordan Humphrey by calling his name (his first name) the Blackest Name Ever. In fact, I find this to be a compliment and culturally significant. We’ll get back to that. So who is Lil’Jordan Humphrey? He is currently…
-
The Blackest Intersection in America Exists in Washington, DC
It’s no secret that I live in Washington, D.C. While I’ve had a love-hate relationship with this city for various reasons, it’s home. No matter where I go in the world, even when I’m back in Atlanta or Madison/Huntsville, Ala., at this point in life, D.C. is home. I’ve lived in the D.C. urea for…
-
How in the Hell Are People Paying for Weddings? Vol. 2
In a little over a week, I will be a married man. I’m not entirely sure that I’ve fully grasped what that means yet but I also know that I do not have the time yet to even think about it. If it ain’t this thing that needs to get done, it’s that thing that…
-
André 3000 Said: 'The South Got Something to Say.' Aquemini, Which Turns 20 Today, Said It All
On September 29, 1998, Outkast dropped their third album, Aquemini, so named after the portmanteau of Big and Dre’s zodiac signs, Aquarius and Gemini, respectively. It was their level all the way up album. The Source, still relevant at the time, gave it the vaunted 5 Mic rating, making it a classic. The album is…
-
A Ridiculous Story About Getting Petty Larcenied by a Crackhead 20 Years Ago to the Day on September 29, 1998
On September 29, 1998, I was a sophomore at Morehouse College. I didn’t live on-campus. I was living in the westside of Atlanta house on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd SW that my grandmother lived in for much of my youth. At some point, my cousin bought her a house in Adamsville—two miles west on…
