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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: How I Killed the Kwanzaa Carol
If I’m ever sent to prison on charges of first-degree blackness or mayonnaise-related hate speech, I will probably have to do my time in solitary confinement. I’m pretty sure there are prison gangs that are waiting to stab me with a shank made out of a Bic pen to get a teardrop tattoo symbolizing that…
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8 Things White America Should Leave in 2018
As we stand on the precipice of a brand new year, the staff at The Root is hopeful that everyone can use the past 12 months as a valuable learning experience in the quest for growth and change. As such, we have convened a world-renowned panel of experts in the field of Wypipology to compile…
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#StabbyGabby Spits, Slaps, Screams N-Word and Pulls Knife on Black Family Over Parking Space
A woman was caught on video screaming the n-word and pulling a knife on a black family in an Oregon parking lot, perfectly encapsulating white America’s shenanigans in 2018. On Dec. 24, 20-year-old Emora Roberson captured rare footage of what is either an irate racist albino ferret or a quickly decomposing white woman in the…
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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: The Kwanzaa Pants Fight
I don’t know why people dislike fights. I don’t think there is anything wrong with equally matched competitors mutually agreeing to a physical altercation. In my hometown, fighting wasn’t just a rite of passage, it was a legitimate way to solve disputes. Where I’m from, one didn’t have to be mad or angry to engage…
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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: How the Grinch Stole Ujamaa
Here’s a lie you often hear: “I grew up in the hood. And because I was smart, all the cool kids and the gangstas bullied me and beat me up.” If you talk to anyone who ever knew me, none of them would describe me as cool. Even though I was the least intimidating person…
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The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Birds, Boxes and Other Bullshit No One Believes
So, ummm … about this Birdbox thing. Wait. We’ll get to that. But before that, y’all know what this is. Our clapback congregation meets weekly to discuss these matters. Each Friday, we faithfully go through the emails, comments, tweets and messages to explain, apologize or elaborate on the things that caused consternation among The Root’s…
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Can the Jewish Community Benefit from White Privilege If They Are Targets of White Supremacy?
I’m racist. I know I’m not supposed to say that. I know there’s a school of thought that black people can’t be racist, but I am. My racism has nothing to do with my use of the word “Wypipo” or “Becky.” It is not related to my reluctance to consume Caucasian potato salad. I’m racist…
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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: Cops, Crack Rock and Why My Mama Doesn’t Have a Kwanzaa Cup
The thing you must know about Kwanzaa is that it really isn’t seven times the holiday that Christmas is because, although you receive gifts every day during Kwanzaa, the Kwanzaa haul isn’t really as lucrative as the Christmas haul. No one in the history of Kujichagulias has ever received a bike for Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa gifts…
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Netflix's Bird Box Is Really About How White People Don't Want to See Racism
Spoiler alert: Some major plot points will be revealed in this article. And by “some,” I mean “all of them.” If you haven’t seen or read the viral social media discussions of the Netflix thriller Bird Box, you’re missing one of the greatest race allegory movies that has ever been released in the last part…
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City Decides to Destroy 20 Years Worth of Police Misconduct Records
May 2008, Officer Brian Ragan gunned down 19-year-old Michael Bayoune at a Rally’s in Inglewood, Calif., Bayoune was unarmed and had not made any threats but Ragan mistook the teenager for a gang member and opened fire. An internal investigation cleared Ragan of any wrongdoing. A few days later in May 2008, Ragan knocked on…
