-
The Official Rules for the 2019 Cookout Season
As the opening day to Cookout Season 2019 approaches, it is the responsibility of the Black Legislative American Cookout Council (BLACC) to keep our constituents informed of the rules. These guidelines have been voted on by a panel of experts that includes: Marvell Clyburn, the 2018 Deviled Egg Champion of the world Jamila McKenzie, a…
-
Alabama’s Abortion Ban Hits Black Population Differently
Days after eight white women and 43 white men yelled “Roll Tide!” before voting to pass the nation’s harshest abortion ban, companies are already changing plans on expanding into Alabama, decisions which will surely hit black communities the hardest. But as long as there’s football, everything will be OK. After a Tuesday city council meeting,…
-
Russia Wanted to Start a Race War and Create the Confederate States of Wakanda
Recently uncovered documents reveal that prominent Russian saboteurs seriously considered an elaborate plot to round up America’s top gang thugs, send them to Africa, arm them, take over the Southern United States and start a separate country where presumably “Knuck If You Buck” would be the national anthem. This might be the stupidest idea in…
-
Deputy’s Son Arrested in Mysterious, Year-Old Death of D.J. Broadus but Not Charged With Murder
Twenty-one minutes after D.J. Broadus was shot in the back of the head at the remote Florida home of a well-connected Florida law enforcement family, investigators knew who shot him. The person allegedly responsible for Broadus’ death admitted it … on tape. He was even taken into police custody. Then, for some strange reason, the…
-
What the Game of Thrones Finale Teaches Us About White Saviors
As America digests the worst collapse of a series since the Golden State Warriors blew a 3-1 lead against the Cleveland Cavaliers (never forget), we must remember that Game of Thrones was bigger than any one episode, the last season or even the finale. The show was always an allegory for politics, competition and history.…
-
An Open Letter to the White Boys Who Praised Alabama's Abortion Ban By Citing the Bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church
I don’t believe in hell. My lack of belief is not because of my religion or the absence thereof. I simply tend not to believe in things. A thing either is or it is not. My unbelief does not negate hell’s existence or make it so. But if there is a place populated by the…
-
The Root's Clapback Mailbag: The Right to Be Hostile
I love the Clapback Mailbag. Contrary to popular belief, responding to the emails, tweets, comments and direct messages from random people who want to explain why I’m wrong does not depress me. It doesn’t upset me in the least. This isn’t a labor of love because I don’t even consider this labor. One of the…
-
Black Twitter Earns Ph.D. With Hilarious Dissertation Thread
When it comes to ingenuity and creativity, very few things surpass the unending inventiveness of black folks. Whether it is out of necessity or unbridled imagination, not only can we make something out of nothing, but we can make it fun. Enslaved Africans took coded messages and turned them into songs. We turned scraps of…
-
Republicans, Men and Christians Aren't Trying to Ban Abortions. White People Are
News outlets across the country have characterized two recent bills that effectively banned abortions in Georgia and Alabama in a number of ways. Some media outlets have painted the laws as Republican measures while others have painted it as the byproducts of Christian crusaders or the creations of sexist men. But the numbers show it’s…
-
Black Woman Serves Raw Fists With Side Order of ‘That Smoke’ to Man at Sushi Restaurant
A video has gone viral of a generous black woman at a California restaurant who decided to look past blatant racism and instead made a charitable donation of free dental work as well as served a complimentary order of knuckle sandwiches, much to the delight of patrons of the sushi eatery. According to Eater, it…
