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The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Why?
Y’all know me. Each Friday, I use my black privilege to attack poor hapless white souls who were only trying to live their lives and, maybe, occasionally, blurt out a “nigger” or two. And you’re part of it, too. The only reason we sift through tweets, emails, comments and direct messages is that we feel…
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Bill Russell Ends 44-Year Basketball HoF Boycott—but the Backstory Proves He's the G.O.A.T.
Ask anyone who is the greatest basketball player of all time, and you’ll surely get a diversity of opinions—including Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Magic Johnson and that dude who played for your cousin’s high school in 1987 whose jump shot was wet but he got shot in his layup leg running from the police his…
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Roger Stone Found Guilty of Lying to Congress, Witness Tampering; Not Guilty of Top Hat-Related Crimes
A jury has convicted the 67-year-old-frat boy who literally wears a motherfucking top hat of lying his ass off and obstructing the congressional investigation into Russian interference into the 2016 election. It took a federal jury less than two days to find Roger Stone guilty of witness tampering, obstructing Congress and five counts of lying…
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10 Men Who Are Sexier Than John Legend, Who People Magazine Named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’
I’m writing this from heaven. If you haven’t heard, there was an apocalypse last night that killed every man on earth except Donald Trump, Jimmie “J.J.” Walker and Steve Buscemi. While I died peacefully, I became aware of my death when I read on the internet that People magazine named John Legend their 2019 Sexiest…
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The Black Person’s Guide to the Trump Impeachment Hearings
The House of Representatives began impeachment hearings for President Donald J. Trump on Wednesday. While everyone seems to have a different idea of what this actually means, we decided to prepare this handy dandy guide that breaks the process down into digestible language without relying on bullshit phraseology about “American values” and the “integrity of…
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Report: NFL Schedules Workout for Colin Kaepernick
After nearly three years of being whiteballed by the NFL, quarterback, activist and majestic 3C-Afro rocker Colin Kaepernick will reportedly audition for a roster spot at a workout arranged by the National Football League. Organized by former coaches and NFL combine personnel, the NFL has invited representatives from all 32 league teams to a one-man…
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Trump Woke Up Early to Send a Racist Tweet About DACA
“Many white people, while clinging to power and privilege, are racist as fuck. Donald Trump has displayed this at every juncture. If Congress remedies this by kicking the president out of office, maybe Republicans will act with common sense.” —M. Harriot While that statement might be a grammatical clusterfuck of baseless opinion, it is also…
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‘Triggered’ By Hecklers, Donald Trump Jr. Bolts Book Signing Event
Second-generation dimwit and acclaimed hair gel consumer Donald Trump Jr. bolted from an appearance at a California college after he was heckled by MAGA-maniacs who were upset by his refusal to answer questions. Dotard Trump Jr., scheduled a Sunday appearance at the University of California, Los Angeles to promote his new book, ironically titled: Triggered:…
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The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Thots and Prayers
Time for your weekly edition of the Clapback Mailbag. Got something on your mind? Email the bag of fun. *Editor’s note: Michael, this sounds vaguely familiar. Are you sure you wrote this? **Writer’s note: Don’t worry, nothing like this exists on the internet. Trust me. We might as well go ahead and get this shit…
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Is the Top of the Refrigerator a Shelf? A Black Supreme Court Decision
As appointees to the Black Supreme Court, we are often called upon to settle the difficult issues of our time. Over the past two years, this court has found itself smack dab in the center of some of the most contentious cultural debates including: Which one is the Big Joker? Can Donald Trump read? Who…
