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The Caucasian's Guide to Aunties
For years, the investigative team at The Root has feverishly sought an answer to the age-old question: “Do white people have cousins?” While our project is still undergoing the rigorous peer review process, our researchers can say, with a modicum of confidence, that white people indeed have aunts. We unearthed evidence that Aunt Jackie from…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: A Learning Experience
Today’s mailbag is dedicated to the people who inform Black people on how to overcome racism. That’s why we’re all here, right? I can’t speak for anyone else but I’m here to learn about how to appreciate this great country. I’m here to soak up the knowledge about how to move forward and forget the…
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A Judge Asked Harvard to Find Out Why So Many Black People Were In Prison. They Could Only Find 1 Answer: Systemic Racism
It wasn’t Black-on-Black crime. Violent video games and rap songs had nothing to do with it; nor did poverty, education, two-parent homes or the international “bootstraps” shortage. When a judge tasked researchers with explaining why Massachusetts’ Black and Latinx incarceration was so high, a four-year study came up with one conclusion. Racism. It was always…
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Where White People Are Scarier Than Monsters: The Hidden Black History of Lovecraft Country
On Sept. 16, 1968, 51 years before HBO aired the first episode of its groundbreaking horror series, Carol Jenkins found herself in Lovecraft Country. Jenkins, a 21-year-old door-to-door encyclopedia saleswoman, sprinted away from a pack of bloodthirsty monsters chasing her through the tiny streets of Martinsville, Ind. She ran for the first home she could find…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: I Feel Fine
I’m going to stop being so offensive. From now on, I promise to respond to the violence, theft and downright absurdity of white supremacy with eloquently composed reactions that ruffle no feathers and leave no one feeling offended. From this day forward, I won’t call the white people who inflict pain “white people who inflict…
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A White Woman Admits She's Been Rachel Dolezal-ing Us for Years—and I Feel Fine
I admit that I don’t know how to feel about this story. I don’t know how to feel about this story because it doesn’t affect me in any material way. I don’t know how to feel about this story because I am a human being. I don’t know how to feel about this story because…
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Donald Trump Admits He's a Terrible President
Bereft of logical arguments for why any lucid-thinking human being would ever cast a ballot in favor of an incompetent, egomaniacal scofflaw white nationalist, President Donald Trump has resorted to a peculiar technique to secure a second-term dictatorship of the seventh-greatest country in the world: Acknowledgment. In a series of typical addlebrained ramblings over the…
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An Exclusive Interview With a Passenger From Donald Trump's 'Thug Plane'
During an interview with Faux News’ Laura Ingraham, Donald Trump recounted a story about a plane “almost completely loaded with thugs” headed to destroy one of the great American cities. Trump’s claim was echoed by Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), who was also familiar with Boyz n the Hoods Airlines. While some speculated that Samuel L.…
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NFL Announces Plan to Do the Bare Minimum
If there was one entity Black America dreamed could take the baton of equality and sprint toward the finish line, it was not the billion-dollar social injustice advocacy collective known as the National Football League. Asking the NFL to help fight racial injustice is like asking Kentucky Fried Chicken to promote veganism. But on Tuesday…
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Why Jason Whitlock Is Not a Black Man
This article contains two opinions: Jason Whitlock is not stupid. Jason Whitlock is Black. The rest is fact. Whether you like him or not, most people share these opinions of Jason Whitlock. Although I often disagree with his viewpoint, I understand that his function in life is to serve as a funnel through which anti-Black…