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John Lewis vs. Everybody: A Tale of the Tape
Ever since John Lewis told Chuck Todd that he doesn’t consider Donald Trump a “legitimate president,” acolytes of the traffic-cone-colored, tiny-fingered dingleberry have streamed out of the woodwork to come for the civil rights hero and political icon. As soon as the president-elect heard the remarks, the troll-in-chief tweeted this: Congressman John Lewis should spend…
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Top 10 People Summoned to Trump Towers to Fix Black America
Since the election of Donald J. Trump, we have witnessed an eclectic mix of black people streaming from Trump Tower, called upon by the dollop-shaped dictator to help him solve the problems of black America. Most of us have cast a skeptical eye at his selections because they seemingly have no training, expertise or qualifications…
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A Tribute to Our Great Uncle Joe
All this week, social media timelines, television viewing and news outlets will be flooded with praise, retrospectives and syrupy-sweet tributes to Barack Obama, lamenting the end of his tenure as president of the United States. I can already tell you that there will be a “speck of dust” caught in my eye all day on…
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What to Say When ‘Wypipo’ Bring Up MLK
Whenever a black person diverges from the path of respectability and voices an opinion contrary to the mainstream narrative, the keepers of the status quo will quickly shout them down with the same, recognizable refrain. Sometimes it sounds so familiar, one might think the people who sit atop America’s totem pole must have trained one…
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21 Ways We’re All Doomed Now
Since Nov. 8, because of our eternal optimism, we black people have kept our fingers crossed, whispered among ourselves that “maybe it won’t be so bad.” Now that our cheddar-covered, misogynist, dim-witted overlord is only days away from installing gold-plated toilets in the Oval Office, we have accepted that it will probably be that bad—if…
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The 2016 List of People We Don’t Mess With Anymore
Last year we debuted the list of people to whom black America gave the collective side eye. As 2016 winds to a close, once again we document the people we’ve disinvited from the cookout. Since the apostles got together to talk to Judas in December of the year 1, black people have used this month…
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Who Lost in 2016?
As the year 2017 waits in the wings to spring onto the stage and initiate us all into the Trumpian era, where the modern-day equivalent of one of the Three Stooges occupies the Oval Office, it is time to look back at the year that was. There will be countless retrospectives on the triumphs of…
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6 Stages of Grief in the Last Days of Obama
As we count down the last few weeks of the Obama presidency, many of us feel anxiety, fear or wistfulness about the prospect of living life without Michelle and Barack in the White House. To help you get through this process, we present to you “The 6 Stages of Grief Over the Obamas Leaving the…
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The 2016 Wypipo Awards
We’d like to welcome you to the annual Wypipo Awards. For those of you attending for the first time, these awards are not focused on all white people. Instead, this is a ceremony that celebrates the subset of the Caucasian constituency constantly complaining that the BET Awards, the NAACP Awards and even the Soul Train…
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2016: The Year Blackness Took Over
When our cyborg descendants dig into the past from the dystopian future brought on by the evil empire assembled by our next commander in chief (whose evil aura and breathing difficulties make me 93.2 percent sure he’s actually Darth Vader), 2016 will likely be remembered as the year America was bamboozled into electing a slightly…
