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10 Things You Should Buy With Your COVID Check
Late yesterday evening, Congress passed a wide-ranging relief bill that will send $600 to every taxpayer making less than $75,000. I haven’t done the math but, that probably only leaves out Bill Gates, Oprah and maybe Beyoncé. Thankfully, the kind folks in the federal legislature have graciously doled out enough money to sustain unemployed broke-asses…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: The Unreasonable Black Man
I believe most people are reasonable. In fact, there is an objective legal test called the “reasonable man” theory. Basically, when a judge or jury is trying to determine whether or not someone is guilty of a crime—especially negligence—the judge or jury must ask themselves if a reasonable man would act this way. If the…
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Joe Biden Wouldn't be the Next President If Not for 'Defund the Police'
In the beginning, God took six days to create the Earth, all of the animals and humans. Adam and Eve, the original Michelle and Barack, were living the life, running around butt-naked until Lucifer, an incredibly talented choir director, ruined everything by convincing Eve to serve Adam a tainted fruit salad. That’s why people die.…
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An Open Letter to Black People About Your Upcoming Superpowers
Dear Prospective SuperNegroes, By now you should have received your certified letter informing you that people of African descent will receive superpowers on Dec. 21, when Jupiter and Saturn align for the first time in nearly 400 years. According to researchers at the University of Twitter, this will unlock the melanated magic in Black people,…
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There Is No Such Thing as 'Trumpism'
Our long national nightmare is over. Can you see the latest class of insightful pundits furiously crafting the narrative? Listen closely and you can hear the whirring wheels of the spin doctors’ myth machine. If you squint, you can see them gathering the cattle excrement from which they will weave a blanket of bullshit out…
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The 2020 Wypipo Awards
In 2018, The Root embarked upon a mission to prove our commitment to the “It’s OK to be White” movement by honoring the notable achievements of America’s underwashclothed community. Despite owning more Grammys, Tonys, Oscars and Emmys for the music, art and culture created by Black folks, we tend to ignore the most important aspect…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Empathy for the Devil
Please allow me to introduce myselfI’m a bag of white hot hateI’ve been around for four long yearsYou can read me every Friday I answer emails, DMs and tweetstrying to help you understand raceAnd when you call me the n-wordI don’t fly into a rage Pleased to meet youCan you guess who I am?Here’s a…
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The Real Race Card: The White Identity Politics of Georgia's Senate Race
If America were truly colorblind, could it see whiteness? Both races in Georgia’s heated Senate runoffs are essentially tied and many are wondering which metrics Georgia voters will use to cast the votes that will decide which political party controls America’s most exclusive legislative body. In case you haven’t noticed, Sens. David Perdue (R-Ga.) and…
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Virginia Military Institute Removes Monument to White Supremacy
A Confederate statue on the campus of one of Virginia’s oldest institutions is finally being removed after Black students spoke out about a campus culture that literally and figuratively worshipped the graven image of white supremacy. Construction crews gathered at Virginia Military Institute on Monday to begin the process of removing the statue of Confederate…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Because They Said So
“Because I said so…” Growing up in predominately Black skin, I heard that phrase a lot. My grandmother, aunts, uncles and friends’ parents used it all the time. But my mother was always careful to never use it. She had this weird thing about wanting us to know why we did things. My grandfather owned…
