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Apparently, Violent Extremism Doesn't Exist
A new study on the Jan. 6 insurrection, rally and jumping-in ceremony at the U.S. Capitol Building determined that most of the participants in the Mutiny on the Ballot were regular schmegular white people just like me and you. The investigation, conducted by the George Washington University Program on Extremism, analyzed arrest information, court documents…
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#WhiteHistoryMonth337: The Top 10 Whitest Laws of All Time
After a grueling 28 days of watching corporations, institutions and random white people pretend to care about the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr., Harriet Tubman and that other Black guy with the big part in his afro (I think it’s Booker T. Douglass), we now return to our regularly scheduled program. Today marks the…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: How to Be an Anti-Antiracist
Are you white? Are you tired of people pointing out your whiteness? Does all this “antiracism” talk ruffle your feathers? Well, we’ve got something for you! From the people who gave you, slavery, Jim Crow, racism and reverse racism, comes the newest product from Wypipo Laboratories… It’s Anti-Antiriacism!* Anti-Antiracism© is a bitter pill that provides…
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Alabama's New Anti-BLM 'Riot Bill' Targets Peaceful Black Protesters. I Know Because I Was One of Them
Finally, all my years of “thugging” have paid off! I’m getting my own law! Although I’ve never rioted, looted or raised a hand at a law enforcement officer, I’ve been confronted by cops, surveilled and arrested for participating in—or, in one case, simply being present during—peaceful protests. As the only Black person standing among a…
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Q Is Smart, Q Is Kind, Q Is Important: A Response to Tucker Carlson's Allegation That QAnon Doesn't Exist
Dear Mr. Carlson, Between my morning briefing on the status of the Democratic Party’s sex trafficking and my afternoon insurrection workout (mostly just police-beating exercises with a flagpole), I was informed by one of my most loyal parishioners (who may or may not represent Georgia’s 14th Congressional District) that you have been spreading lies and…
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'By Means Fair or Foul': America's Conspiracy to Assassinate Black Power
There is no such thing as “white people.” While the concept of race has always been an unscientific axiom, whiteness is the most mutable of the social constructs we call “race.” Whiteness is a fence with portable borders, defined more aptly by who is not inside. The Irish weren’t considered white. Neither were the Italians.…
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Tiger Woods Suffers Serious Leg Injuries in Car Crash, Was Conscious at the Scene [Updated]
Golf legend Tiger Woods was rushed into emergency surgery after he was involved in a single-car accident on Tuesday that left him with multiple injuries, his agent reports. “On February 23, 2021, at approximately 7:12 AM, LASD responded to a single roll-over traffic collision on the border of Rolling Hills Estates and Rancho Palos Verdes,”…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: The Wypipolympics
We interrupt the regularly scheduled Clapback Mailbag to bring you this special program: Welcome to the inaugural Wypipolympics! To give back to the white community, the National Institute for the Greater Good of African Americans Proudly Launching A Stand for Equality (NIGGAAPLEASE) sponsored this weeklong competition to celebrate the staffers at The Root who earn…
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A History of Black Excellence: The Black Women Who Won Reparations
On Wednesday, the House of Representatives Committee on the Judiciary held a hearing on House Resolution 40. The legislative proposal establishes the Commission to Study and Develop Reparation Proposals for African-Americans, which examines “slavery and discrimination in the colonies and the United States from 1619 to the present and recommend appropriate remedies.” While reparations recently…
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Whiteness Anonymous: A 12-Step Program for QAnoners and 'Not All White' People Suffering From Trump Withdrawal Syndrome
It’s been 29 days since Joseph Robinette Biden became the 46th president of the United States, sending QAnon Adventists into severe withdrawals from America being made great again. While some outlets have shamed the idiots patriots who were victimized by the cult of Q, The Root would never. According to an NPR/Ipsos poll, 17 percent…
