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Whiteness Is a Superpower
All superheroes are white. Superman is white. Spider-Man is white. Batman is white. Wonder Woman is white. But I’ve never wanted to be white. For a lactose-intolerant person like me, whiteness is like cheeseburgers, tacos and vanilla ice cream: I recognize that the world considers them to be appealing and delicious, but they have made…
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Video Shows Black Woman Chasing Confederate-Flag-Wearing Teen Who Called Her the N-Word
Proving that black women do not possess the genetic predisposition enjoyed by people who forget about past events like slavery, Jim Crow or that one time their boyfriend came home with stripper glitter on his jeans, a woman went full T.J. Hooker and chased down a white teenager decked in the Confederate flag just to…
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School Board Member Blames Her Racist Facebook Posts on Michelle Obama, NFL Protesters
After being called out for a collection of racist social media posts echoing the sentiments of noted Twitter political pundit Roseanne Barr, a board member of Alabama’s second-largest school district passionately explained herself by citing Michelle Obama’s unpatriotic hate for America and kneeling NFL players’ insistence on disrespecting the troops. Donna Pike, a member of…
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Study: You’re More Likely to Be Hired if You’re Referred by Someone White
Here’s a trick question: Two people of the same race apply for a job. Both have identical skills, education and experience. Both are referred by someone who already works at the company. Which one is more likely to be hired? Answer: The one with the white friend. Everyone knows it’s always good to have a…
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Slaves, Dinosaurs and White Jesus, Oh My! How Taxpayers Fund Crazy Christian Conservative Education
Slaves who accepted Jesus into their hearts were better off than the ones who held on to African religions. Black people were pretty happy under Jim Crow until Northerners messed everything up. Noah brought dinosaurs onto his ark and Africans had dinosaur puppies, but the Nazis don’t want you to know that. These are not…
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Police Framed 16-Year-Old for Burglaries to Boost Crime Stats: Prosecutors
A former police chief and two officers of a tiny Miami-area town are facing federal charges after prosecutors say the law enforcement officials conspired to frame a teenager for four burglaries. Whenever stories of police corruption surface, they are immediately countered with the trite “bad apple” aphorism. While it is a provable fact that one…
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I Wanted to Attend This Vigil for a Dead Chicken Just to Say I Was at the Whitest Thing That Ever Happened
I’m racist. Not only do I not give a cluck about the entire chicken race, but I support colorism. I’m a dark-meat man, although I don’t buy the racist ideology that wings are white meat. If you’ve ever ordered a six-piece lemon-pepper wet with fries from any place that automatically puts hot sauce in your…
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Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Voter Suppression … Again
In a 5-4 decision along partisan lines, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday that Ohio’s voter-suppression campaign was totally fine. The previous sentence should be longer. It should contain an explanation on why Ohio purges its voter roles. There should probably be a convoluted paragraph filled with legalese about constitutional interpretation juxtaposed against the enumerated…
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Black People Aren’t Stupid: The False Notion That Kanye and Kim Are Helping Trump Win Black Voters
Although I am rarely amazed by racism, privilege or America in general, when it comes to the audacity of whiteness, I am sometimes astounded at white people’s perception of black people. I often marvel at the Caucasian notion of our inherent simplemindedness; the idea that dangling any dancing black puppet in front of the Negro…
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Alabama’s Republican Nominee for Chief Justice Might Be the Only Judge More Racist Than Roy Moore
The man who could replace Roy Moore as the next chief justice of Alabama’s Supreme Court is a lot like Moore—only more racist and homophobic. Let’s be clear. Roy Moore is a racist. Moore insinuated that the 13th Amendment, which abolished slavery, should be repealed. He said that the last time America was great was…
