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Cops Are White People's Cousins
Most of the time, life reveals the truth with a gradual slowness that allows us to grasp difficult concepts. But on a rare occasion, the universe will take mud and make itself a brick with the sole purpose of hurling it at your head. The following is an approximate excerpt from a conversation I had…
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Officer Loses Retirement Benefits After Fellow KKK Members Tried to Kill Black Prisoner
An administrative board has decided that a former corrections officer and Ku Klux Klan member who conspired to kill a black inmate will lose his state retirement benefits, upholding the ruling of an administrative law judge and… Wait … what? I know it seems like we’re burying the lede. Wherever you live, I’m betting that…
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Tomi Lahren Says People Are Being Mean to Her And It's All Maxine Waters' Fault
Tomi Lahren, Satan’s blonde-haired colostomy bag, went full snowflake on Fox News Saturday night, explaining that people think she’s a trash human being because of Maxine Waters, and not because she’s actually a trash bag full of right-wing vomit. On Saturday’s episode of Justice with Judge Jeanine, Lahren and Jeanine Pirro put on a miraculous…
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Judge Orders Cops to Return $20,000 to Exotic Dancer
Florida police officers were forced to give back nearly $20,000 after seizing a cache of guns, money and drugs from an exotic dancer and her husband. Apparently, at Cheetah Gentlemen’s Club in Miami, Fla., exotic dancers can make a lot of money. Whenever you ask a dancer how much money they make, they will usually…
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White Man Claims Self-Defense After Gunning Down Black Teenager for Shooting Fireworks
A Texas man arrested for killing his teenage neighbor in a dispute over fireworks claims he only shot the victim in self-defense but police say cell-phone video shows otherwise. According to the Austin Statesman, 41-year-old Jason Roche shot 19-year-old Devonte Ortiz on July 4 during a heated dispute over fireworks. Roche told police that he…
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A Black Woman in Handcuffs For Climbing The Statue of Liberty on Independence Day is a Perfect Metaphor For America
The Statue of Liberty is a metaphor. One cannot carve a statue out of liberty any more than one can take a photograph of freedom or hold a jarful of justice. Liberty is not a thing, it is a concept. And, while it is the bedrock foundation upon on which white America as always rested,…
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Denver Snowflakes Melt After Former Congressional Candidate Tweets She Has Given Up on White People
After challenging the Colorado political machine, white feminists, white liberals and the entire Democratic Party, a Colorado woman is causing an avalanche of white tears after she responded to a rhetorical question about giving up on white people by answering: “Yes.” Before we begin, I must acknowledge that Saira Rao and I are best friends.…
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Paul Blart, Pool Cop Fired After Calling Police on Woman For Swimming in Her Own Pool
The tartar sauce-hued hero who served as sentry to his neighborhood watering hole has lost his job after he sicced the police on a black woman who was trying to sneak into the pool area he patrolled like a fugitive slave catcher. On Friday, Sonoco Products Company announced that Adam Bloom was no longer employed…
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‘It’s My Fucking Country’: Chad the Cookout Killer Goes on Racist Rant When Neighbors Play Spanish Music on the 4th
Fueled by a hate for immigrants who refuse to listen to good, American, white-people music like the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, a California man knocked on his neighbors’ door and flew into a fit of rage when they dared to play Spanish music during an Independence Day cookout. Ivette Celedon, a third-generation American of…
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Black Man Forced to Crawl at Gunpoint After Police Thwart Imaginary Robbery
California officers prevented a nonexistent armed robbery by holding a man at gunpoint and forcing him to crawl on the ground as his uncle and girlfriend watched in horror. Vincent Lemar, who posted a video of the incident to Facebook, said he and his nephew Levell Johnson were attempting to leave the Fresno, Calif., T-Mobile…
