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Depressed Debbie Calls Police on Black Neighbors Because They Were Happy and She Was Sad
One day, hopefully soon, my dream of colleges and universities across America instituting doctorate-level programs on the study of white people will become a reality. When that day comes, certain elements will be required in the course curriculum to achieve a Ph.D. in wypipology, including: the autobiography of Rachel Dolezal a laboratory with unseasoned-chicken taste…
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‘Evilest White Woman on Earth’: The Criminal Injustice of Terra Morehead
Warning: This story is not about America’s criminal-justice system. In this story, America’s criminal-justice system is a parable. In this story, “criminal” is synonymous with “not white.” In this story, “justice” is a mythical concept. In this story, Terra Morehead is synonymous with “injustice.” In this story, “injustice” is the only thing that is real.…
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Neighbor Snaps Photo of Black Man Walking Dogs, Makes Him Suspect in Criminal Manhunt
A California man discovered that his face had been plastered all over newspapers, local television stations and the internet after a woman saw him walking his dogs through her neighborhood, snapped a picture of him and gave it to police trying to stop a burglary ring. According to the Los Angeles Times, on May 16,…
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New Study and Anyone With a Brain: White People More Likely to Get Raises
A new study analyzing millions of data points about demographics, salary and employment characteristics uncovered a positively stunning revelation that every black person in America already knew: White people are far more likely than people of color to get the raises they ask for. PayScale, a software company that specializes in employment and salary data,…
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Supreme Court Rules in Favor of White Jesus
The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that protecting the white man’s God is more important than protecting the rights of actual human beings because—according to the highest court in America—Jesus has feelings, too. In a 7-2 ruling, the court ruled in favor of Masterpiece Cakeshop, a Colorado bakery that refused to sell a cake to…
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Valedictorian Is Cheered for Quoting Trump, Booed When He Reveals It’s Actually an Obama Quote
The audience at a high school in Kentucky was caught trying to make graduations great again when the valedictorian fooled the pro-Donald Trump crowd into applauding a quote from the collusion king, only to find out that the words actually belonged to Barack Obama. Like Taylor Swift music, Birkenstock stores and Trump’s vision of America,…
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Not All Cops: Unarmed Black Teen Not Shot and Killed by Police
Police unions, objective observers and whatever they call white people (I’m using “‘MAGA’ Yeezys” this week) often accuse the media of casting law enforcement officers in a negative light simply because some news outlets believe the public should know about police brutality and the disproportionate killing of black people. But The Root would like to…
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Young, Black and Progressive: Chokwe Antar Lumumba and Randall Woodfin Chop It Up in Birmingham, Ala.
What was billed as an afternoon with two brand-new young, progressive mayors recently elected to serve two of the blackest cities in America quickly turned into a perfect example of how new ideas, radical thinking and a new guard of black leadership are changing the political landscape for African-American voters. We should pitch this movie to…
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Stacey Abrams’ Sister Is Engaged to a Man Incarcerated 26 Years for a Rape and Robbery He Didn’t Commit
The story of Leslie’s fiance, Jimmie Gardner, is as extraordinary.
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The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: It’s a Hard Job, but Someone Has to Do It
Aside from Deputy Managing Editor Yesha Callahan, whose primary job is waking up at the crack of dawn to harass me about ledes and how long it takes me to write, most of the staff at The Root are usually busy doing multiple things at once, according to our readers. [Editor’s note: Some of us…
