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White College Admissions Counselors Don't Want 'Woke' Black Students: Study
A new study reveals that black high school students who are actively fighting racism might have a harder time getting into colleges with white admissions counselors because … Wait? Did you even read the first part of that sentence? Ted Thornhill is a sociology professor at Florida Gulf Coast University whose research “examines color-blind ideology…
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NFL Picks Maroon 5 For Super Bowl in America's Biggest Black Music Scene Because… Of Course
In keeping with its trend of appeasing fans who believe God so loved the world he gave us his only begotten son whose name is either Tom Brady or Donald Trump, the National Football League decided to overlook the 1,203,034 musical acts in Atlanta, Ga. and announced that Maroon 5 will perform at halftime of…
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Video: #BaggageClaimBecky Calls Police on Black Woman for Asking to Speak to a Manager [Updated]
A brave Delta employee is being hailed for alerting the authorities to a case of felony cultural appropriation when a black woman disrespected the heritage of white women everywhere by asking to speak to the manager. Arlene, who asked that she be identified only by her first name, told The Root that she was traveling…
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Exclusive: An Interview With the 3 Most Important Figures in the NFL Anthem Protests
In the ongoing debate about the NFL player protests during the national anthem, The Root has obtained an exclusive interview with three figures at the center of the debate. Staff Writer Michael Harriot and Senior Politics Editor Stephen A. Crockett sat down to discuss the issue with the American flag, the National Anthem and a…
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Georgia Women Arrested for Selling Weed Edibles at Church
Apparently confused by someone who said they wanted to get to know the “Most High,” two Georgia women who were trying to “lift his name,” now face felony drug charges after they were arrested by narcotics officers for peddling marijuana edibles at a church event. According to WJLA, on Friday, September 14, 28-year-old Ebony Cooper…
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White Man Sues for Minority Business-Owner Status After DNA Test Shows He's 4 Percent African
Having found nothing left to colonize on land, sea or the celestial bodies that orbit the planet on which he lives, a Washington man is making a valiant effort to colonize blackness itself. But not be black because… eeewwww! Ralph Taylor, a 55-year-old earthling of the Caucasian variety, owns Orion Insurance Group, LLC, a Lynwood,…
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White-on-White Crime: Tom Arnold's Posse and Mark Burnett Gang Throw Hands at Emmy Party
As further proof that white culture continues to promote senseless violence, reality show producer Mark Burnett and Tom Arnold, the guy who always talks like he just inhaled an unknown but refreshing powder given to him by an anonymous man with a Columbian accent in the bathroom, were reportedly involved in a tussle that probably…
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A Look at the Resumé of Oklahoma's Nazi Police Officer
On Thursday, city officials in Achille, Okla. confirmed that it had hired Bart Alsbrook as a reserve police officer to patrol the tiny town on Oklahoma’s Texas border. Alsbrook had impeccable credentials. He had a clean record, a background in law enforcement and the city could find no citizen complaints filed against him. Having served…
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Stop Eating Before Reading: Florida Prisoner Kills Cellmate, Uses Ears for Necklace
In an apparent bid to top every absurd “Florida Man” story ever told, an inmate at a Florida correctional facility strangled his cellmate, gouged out his eyes, mutilated the body and made a necklace with the victim’s body parts before heading to eat breakfast in the chow hall. According to the Miami Herald, the Columbia…
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Donald Trump Conveniently Ignores Anniversary of One of America's Worst Acts of Terror
Three days before a national tragedy would shake the entire world, on September 8, 2001, George Bush issued a proclamation recognizing one of the darkest hours in American history. On September 15, 2013, Barack Obama’s White House sent out an official statement recognizing the same solemn day. George W. Bush’s Proclamation 7460 reads, in part:…

