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Don’t Save Melania Trump; She Don’t Wanna Be Saved
When it comes to Melania Trump, multiple things can be true if you try really, really hard not to operate at the same intellectual level as her dimwitted husband. Like, even if Slovenia’s new favorite daughter chose to pose nude back in her modeling days, it was wrong for the New York Post to publish…
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About Putin and His New Boo
Now that doomsday has happened, there are certain things to which we can look forward. For one, there will be pain. Lots and lots of pain. Unfortunately, it won’t be like a Betty Wright track in which said pain will yield some gain. It will just hurt. There will also be plenty of stupidity because…
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About the Blacks the Marigold Manchurian Candidate Has Been Meeting
For as long as he is president, there will be debate over whether or not black people should be meeting with the Marigold Manchurian Candidate. It’s a question The Root’s political editor, Jason Johnson, recently tackled in the piece “So, When Is It OK to Meet With Trump?” While we are in accord with the…
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In the Spirit of Living Single, Reboot These Black Shows, Too
During a recent appearance on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, Queen Latifah revealed that there has been discussion about a revival of Living Single. While some of us were immediately joyful about seeing the return of Khadijah James, Regine Hunter and Maxine Shaw and hearing the phrase, “Put some beans in that oven,” others were…
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45 Things You Can Do Instead of Watching the Inauguration
Like Maxine Waters and every Negro who does not fool with those who do not fool with us, I will not be watching Sweet Potato Saddam’s inauguration. I would rather be alive during my own cremation than watch a racist whose hobbies include becoming a puppet of the Russian government and grabbing random pussies without…
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Can We Get an Obama Movie That’s Actually Good?
Even before he won the 2008 presidential election, there was already talk of making a movie chronicling the life of Barack Hussein Obama. The first to discuss such a film was Tyler Perry, who, in 2008, said that he was inspired to make a film about Obama and his relationship with his wife, Michelle Obama.…
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Mandarin Orange Mugabe Isn’t Distracting Us; He’s Really That Frail
If I had a dollar for every headline our president-elect generates in a single day, let alone an entire campaign season, I would probably have enough money to pay off both my student loans and at least half of the debt his lying ass pretends not to have. As someone who can see, hear, read…
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Michael Jackson, Urban Myths and the Grease From Jermaine Jackson’s Fade
For many, Michael Jackson is personal. I, Michael Joseph Arceneaux, born in 1984, am a testament to this trait among longtime fans of Michael Joseph Jackson. I’m named after him. I grew up with him. Many of the positive memories from my childhood are directly connected to events related to his art. Still, quite a…
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Shut Up, Bernie Sanders
If hubris and the successful pursuit of headlines were genuine indicators of political aptitude, perhaps Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) would actually be the Svengali he’s presently being sold as. Of course, Sanders, like our president-elect, the Marigold Manchurian Candidate, can rightly lay claim to scoring huge, albeit majorly melanin-deficient, crowds that found kinship in campaigns…
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The Lovefest Between Republican Senators and Jeff Sessions During His Confirmation Hearing Is Sickening
If there was any lesson to glean about the state of racism in America on Tuesday, it did not come from the farewell address by our nation’s first black president. Many of us might have believed in Barack Hussein Obama but never placed much faith in the country he described on the Democratic National Convention…
