• Why Can't He Be More Than My Homeboy?

    (The Root) —   What should I do about a guy friend I really love and care about — and I know he cares for me — who has said he doesn’t see me as his life partner? I am heartbroken and at a loss for words. Other folks see what I see whenever we…

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  • I Checked His Phone to See If He Was Cheating

    I went through my boyfriend’s phone and found out he’s been talking to his ex-girlfriend, who he told me he hadn’t been in contact with. He’s calling her pet names like “babe” and “sweetheart” — the same things he calls me — reminiscing about their past sex life, and the phone log shows they’ve been…

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  • Obama's Old Flames: Where's the Heat?

    Forgive me if I fail to see the point of “Becoming Obama,” the zillion-word story that Vanity Fair released on its site Wednesday about President Obama’s early love life, as interpreted from the letters to ex-girlfriend Alex McNear and the journals of another, Genevieve Cook. The widely read, six-page exposé happens to be an excerpt…

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  • 'Girls' Doesn't Bother Me; All My Friends Are Black

    At Clutch magazine, The Root contributing editor Demetria L. Lucas says she’s not bothered by the racial makeup of HBO’s Girls because her own group of friends isn’t ethnically diverse, either. I don’t like Girls. Revolutionary thought, right? I know. Since the HBO show’s premiere two weeks ago, I’ve read all types of moaning about…

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  • I'm Dating a White Girl. Will Sisters Be Mad?

    I’ve been devoted to dating black women my entire life. However, recently I met a dazzling Italian-Croatian woman with beauty, sex appeal, brains — the whole nine yards. We hit it off majorly. Now I’m concerned about the backlash from sisters. Should I be? —N.J. I’ll tell you the same thing I tell single black…

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  • Nas: Why Not Get Daughter's Permission to Sing About Her?

    Nas recently released “Daughters,” a single from his upcoming album that includes some very personal information about his 17-year-old. The Root’s contributing editor Demetria L. Lucas, in her column at Essence, says the right thing to do would have been to ask permission. I do wonder if a song released for mass consumption is the…

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  • Can I Turn My Boy Toy Into a Boyfriend?

    I have a male friend with benefits/a jump off that I actually like beyond the sex. I admire this man’s hustle, work ethic, goals, etc. How do I go about pursuing a more serious relationship with him? I have read your book and understand what may or may not result from this, but the answer…

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  • McKnight's Vulgar Song a Parody? No, It's Sad

    Until yesterday, Brian McKnight was best-known as a onetime love balladeer who specialized in wedding- (and baby-) making music. Starting with “One Last Cry,” McKnight’s standout hit from his 1992 self-titled debut, he sprinted on a decadelong run through the early ’00s, dropping gold- and platinum-certified albums that included feel-good hits like “Crazy Love” and…

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  • Why Don't Black Men Want to Get Married?

    My black co-workers and I were talking recently about all the white women in our office who are engaged or married — and all of them got rings when they were 25 to 28. Most of us can’t even find black men willing to commit to a relationship and run at any mention of a…

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  • Sorry, Mitt, Your Wife Can't Relate to Black Women

    In her column at Essence, The Root contributing editor Demetria L. Lucas weighs in on the “war on moms,” arguing that Ann Romney has little in common with most of us, especially African-American mothers. Raising a family is unquestionably a job. But I find it curious that a presidential nominee would take his cues about…

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