-
Aisha Harris Is A Writing Ass Chick We Love
I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been a fan of Aisha Harris. (Three years, maybe?) But I do know that the 27-year-old staff writer at Slate has been a personal favorite long enough for me to confidently state that she is the shit. (Also, I can confidently state that she is not Aisha Tyler.) With…
-
James Blake Slammed And Arrested For…Smiling While Black? Being Lightskinned While Black?
After hearing the news about James Blake — the retired tennis star who was tackled, cuffed, arrested, and detained by five police officers as he waited for a car to take him to the U.S. Open — three things immediately came to mind: 1. James Blake is a Harvard grad, a former superstar athlete, and…
-
Types Of Pork, Ranked
Every Labor Day weekend in Pittsburgh, a rib festival (aptly named “The Rib Fest”) takes place outside of Heinz Field. Dozens of award-winning swine-selling companies set up storefronts and sell their best ribs, pulled pork sandwiches, sausages, briskets, and heart disease. Naturally, as a pork coisennessuor, I spent a decent amount of time there this…
-
10 Things You Need To Know About The Black Barbershop
1. Breaking up with a barber is the most traumatic break-up a Black man will ever experience. One, because barber relationships usually last much longer than the half-assed, Tinder-generated exchange of Netflix passwords and seminal fluids you people call “relationships.” But also because the usual break-up excuses — “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I’m…
-
When Will They Stop Making These Boring-Ass Black People Who Obviously Hate Black People?
There is literally nothing — not The Strain, not Dwight Howard playing basketball — more boring, more tedious, and more cliche than the Black person who spends much of their internet time talking shit about “Black people” collectively in a way that lets you know they either don’t actually know very many actual Black people or just…
-
Roger Goodell Is A Turducken Of Shitty
In one of the emails in Deadspin’s Funbag this week, someone brought up a wacky teacher who’d give students 95s on multiple choice tests if they got every answer wrong. Get one or two right, though, and you’d get your real grade. Obviously, the implied rationale is that if you’re able to intentionally get every answer wrong, you…
-
Exclusive: A Leaked Email Exchange Between Kanye West And President Obama
A few weeks ago, our sources were somehow able to find an email conversation between Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill. And then, a couple weeks later, one between Meek Mill and Drake. And then, those same sources found another email conversation, but between Drake and Serena Williams. We have great sources. Our sources are the shit. They outdid…
-
Nicki Minaj's "Pastor Lydia" Is The Worst Pastor Ever, And More Takeaways From The 2015 VMAs
1. It is 8:12 am. Which means it’s been less than nine hours since I watched the VMAs. In that time span I ate (approximately) seven lukewarm tator tots, drank two glasses of water, slept for six hours, walked my dog, and took The Wife Person™ to work. I also tried (and failed) to remember any…
-
Pancakes Vs Waffles Vs French Toast: Who Wins?
Pancakes, Waffles, and French Toast are basically the Beyonce of breakfast foods. Sure, the meats definitely matter. And, in the right environment, can be the featured food. Basically, “bacon” = “Kelly Rowland.” The starches matter too, just because you need balance and something to place all the blame on if shit goes wrong. And yes, Michelle…
-
An Interview With The Only Person Left In America Who Actually Admits To Being Racist
After reading some of the racially-tinged responses to both the Michael Vick story and #laughingwhileBlack, I became dismayed. Sad, even. Not because of the racism. Racism by itself doesn’t sadden me. I’ve grown so used to it that, on Thursdays, I congeal it into a gel and use it as deodorant. (And it’s surprisingly effective.)…