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A Definitive List Of Every Bougie Black Girl Celebrity Crush Of The Last 20 Years
Judging from the dozens of thirsty Bougie Black Girls on my Facebook page, Twitter feed, and GChat list, within the last week or so Jesse Williams — best known for playing one of the doctors on that Shonda Rhimes show that airs before Scandal — has cemented himself as 2014’s holder of the Bougie Black…
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5 Things Weed Makes You Do (Hint: "Attack A Police Officer" Is Not On The List)
I’ve never smoked weed. It’s illegal in the state of Pennsylvania. And I don’t break the law. Because breaking the law is illegal. And I’m a role model. But, for fun, let’s create an alternative reality where I smoked weed before. Let’s also say I wasn’t a habitual weed smoker, but I smoked enough to…
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President Obama Speaks On Ferguson…And Words Come Out Of His Mouth
I’m a huge President Obama fan. Which, these days, often makes me an Obama defender. Part of this defense is a personality-based relation. He’s a textbook introvert. I am as well. I know how it feels to have your pensive and deliberate nature interpreted as being robotic, arrogant, and aloof. I also know how it…
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How Not To Be An Asshole On The Internet When Everyone's Upset
This has been one of the most depressing weeks of news I can remember. Mike Brown. The fallout in Ferguson. #Iftheygunnedmedown and every other reminder that, as Deadspin’s Greg Howard put it, America is Not For Black People. The news of Robin Williams’ death. Learning that he committed suicide. The dozens of powerful, heartbreaking stories…
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Leaked New Kanye Track ('All Day') Sounds Like Old Kanye
You know those people who want the old Kanye West back? Who reminisce about the days of ‘Spaceship’ and “Bush don’t care about Black people” and colorblocking Lacoste polos and dating Deltas? I am not one of those people. (Although I do love Deltas.) I do not miss the old Kanye, and I actually prefer…
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Shit Bougie Black People Love: 18. Being Upset About Kanye West
No one was happier for Kanye West’s early career than Bougie Black People. While others merely enjoyed Kanye’s music, Bougie Black People were enchanted by him. “Finally” Bougie Black People exclaimed, between sips of green machine Naked Juice, “a rap artist who speaks to me.” To their credit, the parallels between Kanye West and the…
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10 Things The NFL Cares Even Less About Than It Cares About Women
After giving star running back Ray Rice a paltry two game suspension for punching his then-fiancee (now wife) unconscious and dragging her body through the hotel they were staying at — an act caught on film — the NFL has proven again that it gives less than two fucks about the demographic that comprises over…
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Six Things No One Tells You About Your Wedding Day
1. You will not eat. Ok, this is a lie. Several people who’ve gone through this process before warned us there wouldn’t be much time for eating. But, since we believed we’re special little snowflakes and shit, we ignored them. After all, the venue we chose was specifically chosen because of their brunch menu. What’s…
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Drake, The Most Talented Rapper…Ever
He will not be as revered by history as Tupac and Biggie. He’ll never capture hip-hop’s collective consciousness the way Wu-Tang did in the mid-90s. He won’t be defended as fervently as Nas will always be. He’ll never be considered a creative genius the way Kanye is. He won’t be as loved by White people…
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On Bachelor Parties And Blackouts
(Editor’s Note: After some thought, I’ve decided to change the title, edit out the hashtag, and remove the references to Jada. Don’t want to be seen as capitalizing on what that girl has had to go through. D. Young) It started with Bellinis. We got there at 2:30. The bottomless was ending at 3. So, in order…
