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Will I Attend Your Memorial Day Cookout, Or Nah? (A Flowchart)
Because I can’t let bad cookout decisions happen to good people.
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10 Randomly Specific Things Specific To Blackness That Always Tickle The Hell Out Of Me
1. How Black men tend to happily and matter-of-factly greet and address each other by making random nouns that have no business being pronouns pronouns Of course, words like “dude” and “man” (“What up, man?”) are universal. But only another Black man will hit you with a “What up, money?” Or maybe a “What’s good,…
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Sugar Or Salt Or Who Gives A Shit Because Grits Don't Matter Enough To Have This Debate
Here are four commonly accepted and agreed on facts about grits: 1. The base color is off-white 2. It’s one of the few words where both the singular (grit) and the plural (grits) versions of it are fun to say (You could even argue that grit is a better word than a food) 3. Many Black…
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Dear Black Parents: Please Love Your Children So They Won't Grow Up To Be Clarence Thomas
My daughter will be six months old in a few days. She is a smiling, rolling, bouncing, and burping bundle of Blackness. She’s amazing, hilarious, and perfect. She is also a minuscule masochist who doesn’t waste opportunities to find new ways to potentially injure herself. (For instance, just yesterday, while holding her while typing, she decided…
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Why Draymond Green Is and Isn’t a Dirty Player, Explained
Who is Draymond Green? Draymond Green is a do-everything utility man for the Golden State Warriors; the engine that steams their machine; the straw that stirs their coffee; the detergent that sparkles their dishes. He is their heart and soul, their guts and grit, their … Are you just going to speak in sportswriting clichés?…
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Mary J. Blige Dancing At The Bad Boy Reunion Tour Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
The concept of being unapologetically Black ultimately boils down to a Black person being — or, at least, striving to be — their best self. And believing that this best self includes and doesn’t exclude or contradict with a shameless and unabashed embrace of Blackness. Admittedly, the journey to unapologetic Blackness as a Black American isn’t an…
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20 Things I've Tried Really, Really, Really, Really Hard To Care About But Just Can't
1. Comic books (Not movies based on comic books, because I care about those. Or even hearing the news that one of my favorite writers is penning a comic book series, because I care about that too. Just not the actual comic book.) 1.5. Everything that was just said about comic books could also be said…
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Why ‘Make America Great Again’ Is an Insult (and a Lie), Explained
Who is Krystal Lake? Krystal Lake is a 22-year-old New York City woman who recently received death threats after wearing a hat with the words “America was never great”—an obvious turn on Donald Trump’s “Make America great again” presidential campaign slogan. She’d also be my spirit animal if that position wasn’t already occupied by King…
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Blake Lively's Gentrified Booty, Explained
Who is Blake Lively? For a while I thought she was Sienna Miller. Like, I’d see her and say “That’s Sienna Miller in that movie, apparently.” But she’s not Sienna Miller. And she’s definitely not Scarlett Johansson. Are you sure? Yes. So she’s just Blake Lively? Yes. She is just Blake Lively, a person who…
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Beyonce's "Freedom" Is Her First Anthem I Can Appreciate Too, And I Really Appreciate That!
I joked before that the difference between Beyonce 10 years ago and Beyonce today is akin to the difference between regular-sized human being Barry Bonds and head-the-size-of-a-city-street-trashcan Barry Bonds. Even adding that she’s made such improvement as an artist that she’d be suspected of doping if she was an athlete. A better analogy, perhaps, would compare…
