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President Obama Is Officially Trolling The Fuck Out Of Conservatives, And I Love It
If you have any doubts that President Barack Obama has made “trolling the fuck out of conservatives” his personal mission for his last two years in office, consider this: In the past two years, President Obama has effectively… 1. Legalized gay marriage 2. Legalized marijuana 3. Given legal status to millions of illegal immigrants …and…
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Black Twitter Flooded By Thirsty Women Springing Leaks For Black Plumbers (See What I Did There?)
Look. If you’re a man who gets upset by women paying attention to physically attractive men, or a woman who gets upset when men make jokes about your attraction to physically attractive men, leave VSB, go to your home or office supply room, find some Drano, and drink it. If you’re not upset by any…
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Men Just Don't Trust Women. And This Is A Problem
It took five months of marriage, eight months of being engaged, and another year of whatever the hell we were doing before we got engaged for me to learn something about my wife. Actually, that’s misleading. I’ve learned many things about my wife in that time period. I learned that she owns both a snuggie and…
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Why The Georgetown Hoyas Need To Be Your Favorite College Basketball Team
Although they won’t get as much publicity as Lebron, Derrick Rose, Kyrie Irving, and the rest of the professional athletes and celebrities donning “I Can’t Breathe” shirts, what the Hoyas did before Wednesday night’s game against Kansas was arguably more impressive. One, because they’re a group of 19 and 20 year olds conscientious enough to…
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Perfectly Normal Things Black Men Just Know Not To Do Because America Is Racist As Fuck
We’re all aware of the potential criminality if caught driving while Black. And shopping while Black. And walking while Black. And walking with your hands in your pockets while Black. And waiting for a bus while Black. And sitting while Black. And eating while Black. And tipping while Black. And…well, you get the point. But, while the…
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Why The Chris Brown, Drake, And Karaoke Love Triangle Is The Most Lightskinneded Thing We've Ever Seen This Week
1. Because Drake — who, all things considered, is having perhaps the best year in lightskinneded history — is involved. 2. Because for all of the blatantly violent, sexist, and misogynistic music that has flooded our airwaves in the past half-decade, “Marvin’s Room” is easily the most lecherous. And, admittedly, the most genius. It’s a…
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Eric Garner Choked To Death By Cop. In Broad Daylight. On Camera. Cop Gets Off. Fuck Everybody.
I don’t even know what to say now. Really, I don’t. Maybe I will later today or tomorrow. But now, I try to write and it feels like Groundhog Day. I could literally cut and paste everything I said the last two weeks about Michael Brown and just substitute Garner’s name for Brown’s, Staten Island for…
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An Argument For Not Blocking Your Ridiculously Stupid And/Or Racist Facebook Friends
The last two weeks of November produced a vortex of news stories (Ferguson, Cosby, Ray Rice) everyone seems to have an opinion on. And, when everyone seems to have an opinion on something, that “everyone” includes “stupid and/or insensitive and/or racist motherfuckers.” Nowhere was this more evident than it was on Facebook, as these weeks…
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Thanksgiving And Shit
My wife and I are masochists, apparently. Because that would be the only reasonable explanation for us deciding to host somewhere between 30 and 35 members of our family for Thanksgiving this year. Actually, the real explanation is laziness. We’re both from Pittsburgh, which means that every holiday we’ve spent together has been spent shuffling from…
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Darren Wilson Is A Dick. Literally
Darren Wilson is a dick. Not in the figurative sense (although he is that too). No, I came to that conclusion after seeing the first clear images of him — the photos of the injuries he sustained while involved in the life-threatening altercation with the 8’4, 720 pound Michael Brown. Darren Wilson is dick, literally.…
