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Drake Is The Donald Trump Of Hip-Hop
I don’t remember exactly which day last week Funkmaster Flex became a top trending topic. I do remember, however, that when first seeing his name, I assumed that he either 1) died (which, fortunately, didn’t happen) or 2) finally completed his transformation from New York City DJ to the world’s first sentient Lugz chukka. (Which, unfortunately, didn’t…
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The Black Model's Reaction To The TODAY Show's Makeover From Hell Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
By now, I’m sure you’ve seen or at least heard about the footage of the TODAY Show’s makeover from Hell, where a Black model (Malyia McNaughton) had her beautiful curls turned into a bird’s nest by “beauty expert” Deepica Mutyala. A bird’s nest sitting on top of a streetlight on a windy-ass day. A bird’s nest…
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On Accepting And Acknowledging That America Is A Uniquely Dangerous Place For Black Women
The two most prominent stories on my collective (Facebook and Twitter) timelines yesterday involved the death of a Black woman. One (Korryn Gaines) was shot and killed by police officers during an alleged stand-off. Her five-year-old son was also shot. He is expected to survive. Another (Joyce Quaweay) was stripped naked, handcuffed to a bench,…
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Donald Trump Eats Fried Chicken Like A Gotdamn Alien In A Human Skinsuit. Do Not Vote For This Daft Psychopath.
Look at that juicy, plump, and delectable fried chicken breast. Filled with white meat, delicious skin, and America’s finest hormones; ready to be devoured with hands and fingers and anxious teeth, how God intended it to be. And look at that daft motherfucker looming over top of it; his artificially tanned skin the tint of a…
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The Many Levels Of Peak Stupid In Bow Wow's "I'm Too Mixed To Relate To Civil Rights," Explained
Who is Bow Wow? Bow Wow is a grown-ass 29-year-old man who still refers to himself and answers to Bow Wow. You know how people say Frank Sinatra was a singer’s singer? Well, Bow Wow’s a millennial’s millennial. To his credit, he did change his name from Lil Bow Wow to Bow Wow a few years ago, right? He…
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10 Things I’ll Miss When the Obamas Leave the White House
Although the Democratic National Convention was intended to be a celebration of Democrats, Democratic values, and (in comparison with the Republican National Convention) sanity and science, it was a bittersweet week for much of America, since it also was perhaps the last time we’ll see the Obamas on a national stage as president and first…
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How To Get An Awesome "Darth Becky" T-Shirt, Explained
Is that a Darth Becky t-shirt you’re wearing? Yes. Yes it is. That’s awesome! I know! Wait…who is Darth Becky again? Darth Becky is Iggy Azelea, a reference I made in “Where ‘Becky’ Comes From, And Why It’s Not Racist, Explained“ It’s actually easier for me to say whether a White woman would be considered…
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The Democrats Are Led By Fucking Grown-Ups, And The GOP Is Led By An Adolescent Cheeto
For as long as I’ve been aware of American politics and the differences — real and perceived — between our two major parties, I’ve also been aware that the GOP has been touted as the party for grown-ups. For serious (White) men and the women those serious (White) men were married to. The solid and…
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Freddie Gray's Black Life Just Did Not Matter Enough
Perhaps, if you’re inclined to do so, you could argue that it’s Baltimore State’s Attorney Marilyn Mosby’s fault that none of the officers accused in the death of Freddie Gray will face jail time. You could say that Mosby was recklessly ambitious in “over-charging” the officers; an act that virtually ensured none would stick. And even…
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"Watch Parties" Are Stupid, Boring, Useless, And Stupid, So Stop Having Them And Inviting Me To Them
The first watch party I attended was in D.C. in 2013. I was in town for a screening of our pilot and subsequent Q&A at Busboys and Poets. When it was over, Panama and I headed next door for a watch party for the Scandal season three premiere. Which ended up also being the last…
