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"The Life Of Pablo," Reviewed, By Someone Who Cannot Be Objective About Kanye West
So, let’s get three things out of the way first: 1. The Life of Pablo was made available to stream on Tidal early Sunday morning. It, apparently, will not officially be for sale for another week. By the time you read this, it will be (at the earliest) Monday afternoon. Between then and now, I’ve listened…
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Dear Black America: Be Prepared to Be Bernie’s and Hillary’s Token Black Friend for the Next 5 Months
It was the first semester of my freshman year in college. I met “David” while at one of the bars near campus. The people I went there with that night were all too young to drink, but David (who was a junior) made a point to buy shots for each of us. My friends and…
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The 10 Blackest Things Michelle Obama Has Ever Done
At the time of this writing, “I Miss Barack Obama” is one of Twitter’s top trending topics; a response to a viral piece from David Brooks of the New York Times, where he opines on the president’s many virtues (most notably, the fact that President Obama is, above all else, a good and decent person).…
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The Way We Talk When We Talk About Athletes Is Dumb As Fuck. Understandable, But Dumb As Fuck
For many good and obvious reasons, Michael Jordan is considered the gold standard for contemporary athletes. His career and his success and his level of sustained greatness are the benchmarks other dominant athletes are judged by; in fact, it’s considered an honor to even be included in the same conversation. (And, occasionally, an insult to…
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I’m a Grown Man, but I Still Don’t Cuss in Front of My Dad
I remember the first time it happened. I was in sixth grade. It was my second week at St. Barts, a private Catholic school in Penn Hills, a suburb of Pittsburgh. My parents took me out of the city schools and sent me there because of its academic record and its athletic reputation. Actually, that’s…
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Fresh Prince Characters Other Than Will, Ranked, From Least To Most Important
7. Little Nicky Like The Godfather III, my early aughts affinity for Von Dutch, and the entire state of Delaware, it’s better for everyone to just act as if Little Nicky never actually existed. 6. Ashley As an adult, I’ve come to realize that Ashley was much, much, much more important to me — a…
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How to Protect Yourself From the Flood of White Tears That’ll Come if the Panthers Win the Super Bowl
In the book of Genesis, God—apparently fed up with humans for acting like … humans—decided to start humanity from scratch by flooding the entire earth. Which proves, again, that God is truly the alpha and the omega of everything. Including being petty. Humanity eventually recovered from this flood—thanks in large part to Noah, who was…
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Five Things People Need To Stop Saying When Police Dogs Are Killed
Last weekend, 37-year-old Bruce Kelley Jr and his father were drinking alcohol in a gazebo on the busway in Wilkinsburg, a suburb of Pittsburgh. Police officers noticed they were drinking from open containers, and asked them to stop. Words were exchanged, and a fight ensued between the officers and the drunk men. Kelley Sr was…
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Why A Man Enjoying A Woman's Finger In His Butt Doesn't Make Him Gay (NTTAWWT), Explained
Who is Amber Rose? Ex-girlfriend of Kanye West, ex-wife of Wiz Khalifa, social media soul destroyer, and perhaps the most famous Cape Verdean alive today. Really? Yes, really. If we ever decided to honor and recognize a Cape Verdean-American history month, kids would be required to do Amber Rose book reports and school projects. She’d basically…
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Why Is Every Black Church Pastor Also Good At Singing? A Black History Month Mystery
Recently, the Wife Person and I have started attending a new church. Actually, “started attending” is a misnomer. We’ve been there exactly twice — once because of an invitation from friends, and once a couple of weeks after that — which is exactly twice more than we’ve been to our home church in the last six months. Our attendance…
