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By Nominating Merrick Garland, President Obama Is Trolling Republicans The Way Parents Troll Kids
I forgot exactly what led to it. Maybe I was told to go to bed a bit earlier than I wanted to. Maybe I wasn’t allowed to bring my Hasbro-made Millennium Falcon replica in the bathtub. And maybe I got in trouble (again) for peeing on the neighbor’s dog (again). (Don’t ask.) Either way, I…
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Ben Carson Endorsed Donald Trump for a Job, Which Is One of the Blackest Things He’s Ever Done
You can say many things about Ben Carson, the back-ordered, decaffeinated coffee machine who recently dropped out of the presidential race. Iconic surgeon. Popeyes enthusiast. Vigilante. Black History Month book-report muse. Delusional motherf—ker. But one thing you cannot do is doubt his blackness bona fides. Yes, his actual politics, if enacted, would have put America back to 1953.…
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‘Post-Racial’ Racism, Explained
What is Joe’s Crab Shack? Joe’s Crab Shack was, until Wednesday, the place you took a date if she was in the mood for chain store crabmeat but thought Red Lobster was too bougie. Since Wednesday, however, I’m sure it’ll be the preferred space for Donald Trump rally after-parties. Why? What happened Wednesday? While dining…
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Wilkinsburg, The Side Of America's "Most Livable City" Pittsburgh Doesn't Want You To See
In many of the news stories you’ll read today about the mass shooting in Wilkinsburg Wednesday night — which left five dead and three others wounded — it’ll be referred to as a suburb of Pittsburgh. While this is technically true, it’s a bit of a misnomer. One because none of the qualities commonly associated with suburbs…
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The Gay Agenda, Explained
Who is Ryan Coogler? And who is Michael B. Jordan? Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan are the young director-actor duo most famous for creating the harrowing and amazing (and amazingly shut out for Oscar consideration) Fruitvale Station. They also worked together on Creed—a critically acclaimed movie with a black director, a black star and…
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The Increasingly Inane And Problematic Obsession With Ayesha Curry, Explained
Who is Ayesha Curry? Ayesha Curry is the wife of superstar point guard Stephen Curry. Ok, so she’s the wife of a popular NBA player. But that doesn’t explain why her name is the top trending topic today. I’m sure she’s a lovely woman, but there has to be something else, right? Yes! There definitely…
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10 Types Of Black-On-Black Crime Black People Need To Stop Committing
1. Serving undercooked and/or underseasoned meat at events Black people happen to be at Pictured above is some undercooked and awkwardly seasoned chicken I took home from an event several days ago. Words can not fully encapsulate how disappointing and fraudulent this chicken was. This chicken was the final season of Lost. It was Shemar Moore’s cornrow…
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Hotep, Explained
What does “Hotep” mean? “Hotep” is an Egyptian word that means “at peace.” It’s basically the Egyptian “What’s good?” Over the past several decades, the word has also been utilized quite frequently by black Americans who happen to be more Afrocentric. Let me put it this way: If you happen to attend a Juneteenth festival…
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Melissa Harris-Perry Just Showed What It Means To Give No Fucks About What White People Think
Before we get into what it means to give no fucks about what White People™ think, we must first establish what it doesn’t mean. Because existing in this fuck-less space is complicated, and it’s easy to conflate and confuse existing there with other things that exist independent of its existence. Basically, it doesn’t mean you…
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Why People Are Upset That Zoe Saldana Is Playing Nina Simone, Explained
Who is Zoe Saldana? Zoe Saldana is a star actress who’s been in numerous science fiction and fantasy blockbusters, most notably Avatar, Star Trek, The Guardians of the Galaxy and Drumline. Wait, Drumline was fantasy? Of course! In it, she was the baddest senior on campus and she fell in love with a freshman. A…
