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  • The Day SheaMoisture Got Extra Ashy, Explained

    SheaMoisture is a beauty brand whose hair and skin products are very popular with black women. Even if you’d never heard of SheaMoisture until yesterday, if you date or even know (or, shit, just happen to see) black women with natural hair, you’ve undoubtedly encountered SheaMoisture in some fashion at some point. Exclusively? No. Not…

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  • How Mad Should I Be When White People Greet And Talk To My Dog When I'm Walking Him Instead Of Me?

    Mickey, the 13-year-old Pit Bull/Labrador mix that lives with us and totally, absolutely, definitely never helped me solicit prostitutes, has had a difficult time adjusting to the presence of the Feminist Octopus. His behavior hasn’t changed much; he’s still the laconic, (usually) well-behaved, and personable dog who I still kinda think is a dude in a…

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  • I Can't Wait Until 16 Years From Now When Serena Williams's Baby Beats Maria Sharapova Too

    If you think it’s totally fucked up that Serena Williams would announce her pregnancy on the same day Maria Sharapova — the woman who still somehow out earns Serena in endorsements despite losing to her 18 consecutive times and getting exposed as a drug cheat — turned 30 (and, for the record, it totally, definitely, absolutely…

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  • Sometimes a Bitch-Ass N–ga Is Just a Bitch-Ass N–ga

    Considering the considerable stigmas still attached to mental health—how we talk about it, how we treat it, how we regard people who have mental-health issues—our collective tendency to shoehorn some sort of untreated psychological disorder into the profiles of people who’ve committed especially heinous crimes is (somewhat) understandable. It allows us to finally have the…

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  • The Asian Doctor Dragged Off A United Airlines Flight Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week

    “Punk rock” entered our lexicon a couple decades ago as an adjective attached to things with no obvious connection to punk rock music. Instead, that phrase is used as a stand-in for a certain fuck-deprived, anti-establishment, devil-may-care ethos associated with it. And it could be used to modify anything — a person’s attitude, eating milk-less cereal…

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  • Criticism Is A Great Thing You Analog Motherfuckers

    Out of the hundreds of perplexing and entertaining responses I received when writing about Dave Chappelle on VSB last week and then again at GQ this week — tweets, comments, and emails ranging from “you’re a coon” and “y’all must’ve been bought by NBC or Home Depot or something” to remarkably descriptive suggestions for different…

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  • I Can't Hold A Grudge To Save My Life, So Janet Hubert Is My New Grudge Goals

    I’ve been blessed with many talents. I can eat eight buttermilk pancakes in one sitting. I can recite each of the lyrics from Jesus Christ Superstar on call and without instrumental assistance. I can see asses from the front even if they’re not fat. And I have an innate and uncanny gift for accidentally splashing a…

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  • "A Six-Foot-Long Hefty Bag Full Of Wet Farts And Dog Nipples" And 20 More Things Bill O'Reilly Looks Like

    Bill O’Reilly apparently thinks Maxine Waters looks like James Brown. Here are some things I think Bill O’Reilly looks like. 1. Bill O’Reilly, but if Bill O’Reilly actually died 20 years ago and no one’s gathered the nerve to tell him yet 2. The face people in horror movies make when the alien hidden inside…

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  • What Exactly Does Dave Chappelle Want From Key & Peele?

    Approximately midway through one of his new Netflix comedy specials (the one he taped last year in L.A. — I’ve yet to see the one taped in Austin), Dave Chappelle made a shocking allusion to his age. I forgot exactly what he said and how he said it, but I remember being reminded of exactly…

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  • Is Rick Ross A Good Rapper?

    There are two ways to answer the question asked in the title. 1. He is a professional rapper, having been one for over a decade, and his professional rappings are quite proficient and popular. Compared to the average person — or, even better, compared to me when I attempt to rap (which often occurs when…

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Damon Young is a founder of VSB, and the author of What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins), which won the 2020 Thurber Prize for American Humor


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