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The 25 Best and Blackest Things About Chance the Rapper’s ‘Come Back, Barack’ Video on Saturday Night Live
1. The name of the group: De-Von-Tré. This is such a great and appropriate ’90s R&B name that I’m shocked it was available. Kinda like when you meet someone whose Twitter handle is @John and you think, “How the fuck did you get John?” 2. The very first shot of the video, of Chris Redd…
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A Sentence-by-Sentence Reply to This Racist-ish and Awkwardly Punctuated Facebook Message I Got Yesterday
Jhon [redacted] and I are not friends, but I hope one day that we will be. If I am ever in London (where he apparently lives), I’ll make every effort to stop past [redacted] (where he apparently works) and introduce myself. Until then, however, I’ll have to settle for replying to this glorious message he…
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White Meats I Personally Find Much Sexier Than Blake Shelton, Ranked
20. Chicken lunch meat 19. Chicken McNuggets 18. Uncooked Oscar Mayer turkey bacon 17. Turkey lunch meat 16. Campbell’s chicken-noodle-soup chicken 15. The tiny white cubes found in mortadella 14. The fatty part of the Easter ham my mom used to make that she’d chop up and put into eggs for breakfast and make them…
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Was Get Out More Funny or Scary?
That Get Out will compete as a comedy during awards season is not a surprise. Although packed with thrills and scares, it ultimately exists as social satire—which, while not always funny, is a form of comedy. Also, this comedy distinction makes it more likely to win within its categories. For myriad annoying-as-the-fuck reasons, comedies, when…
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White People Are Weird! Why Are Y’all So Damn Weird? Can Y’all Stop Being So Damn Weird?
Others, including The Root’s staff writer Michael Harriot, have already written about the support Sean Hannity received after some of his sponsors cut ties with him for having alleged child molester Roy Moore on his show to explain his tendency to date teens. We know, already, that this support at all costs is hypocritical. And…
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How, if You’re a Man, to Deal With the Fact That You’re Probably Trash
The one thing I keep coming back to when thinking about Louis C.K. now isn’t the bizarre and abusive sexual habits revealed, in detail, last week by the New York Times—repeated forms of sexual misconduct that confirm the long-standing rumors about him and validate platforms such as Gawker, which first reported on this several years…
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Ways Jason Whitlock Probably Reacted After Learning GQ Named Colin Kaepernick Citizen of the Year, Ranked
10. Took a really long shower. Not a Silkwood shower where he furiously scrubbed his skin, but one of those 40-minute-long soapless showers where you just lean up against a wall letting the water hit your back while you ponder the inescapable vastness of the void. 9. Called Jeff George just to invite him over…
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4 Underrated Things About NYC From a Guy Who Doesn’t Hate It There as Much as He Used To
So, the title is somewhat misleading. Even though every time I’m there it’s cold and hot and wet and generally smells like a lit candle stuck in a pigeon’s ass, I never actually hated New York City. I just felt uneasy, awkward and overwhelmed. Basically, visiting New York City is like watching Funny Games. But…
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The Most Useless Types of White People, Ranked
10. The “I would have voted for Obama again” guy, which, since a three-term presidency is literally not possible right now, is like saying, “I totally would have killed a velociraptor, dude. Totally.” 9. The “Why can’t we just forget about our differences and come together?” guy, who’s usually the exact-same guy as the “I…
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A Year Later, How Has the Trump Presidency Personally Affected or Changed You?
I’m writing this from my hotel room in New York City, where I’ve been since Tuesday evening and will be until Friday. I’m in town to attend The Root 100 gala Thursday night, but I’m here early to meet with my agent (and possibly my editor), hang out with some friends and visit the GMG…
