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Small Talk Is Trash and the World Would Be a Better Place if Everyone Just Stopped Doing It
There is a man right now standing in line at a place where he is waiting to get a quick meal, perhaps. Or maybe a small coffee. Just something to help him through the day. He is not having a particularly bad or good day—it’s a regular, run-of-the-mill, mundane Wednesday. Later that day, he might…
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A Line-by-Line Response to the New York Times’ Response to the Backlash It Received for Publishing a Nazi Puff Piece
On Nov. 25, the New York Times published “A Voice of Hate in America’s Heartland”—a piece about the wedding registry, eating habits and eyebrow maintenance of an Ohio man who also happens to be a Nazi. This profile bothered quite a few people, who were somewhat annoyed that the country’s biggest and most important newspaper…
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A 15-Step Guide on How to Talk to and Deal With the Trump Supporters in Your Family This Thanksgiving
1. [Find] 2 tablespoons olive oil, one 1.5- to 2-pound lobster, 1 pound of shrimp, 2 pounds small elbow macaroni, one stick of butter (two sticks optional), half cup (2 ounces) shredded Muenster cheese, half cup shredded mild cheddar cheese, half cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese, half cup shredded Monterey Jack, half cup shredded provolone…
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Do White People Have Cousins?
Why don’t white people acknowledge their cousins? (Or do they?)
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10 Great Excuses for When You’re a Guest With Someone’s Family at Thanksgiving and They Offer Chitlins and You Don’t Want to Offend Them
I eat chitlins occasionally, but I know some of y’all bougie Negroes don’t. And I also know that some of y’all chitlin doubters will be with friends’ or your new partner’s family over the holidays for the first time. And there might be chitlins present. And you might be wondering what to say or do…
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‘Disrespectful’ and More Things White People Say When They Really Want to Call Black People the N-Word but Can’t
Like the devil—who I’ve heard is a 3-handicap golfer and makes a killer sangria—Donald Trump is not without his good qualities. He’s a great, Zoolander-level squinter. Perhaps one of the world’s all-time great squinters. He’s apparently amazing at purchasing and eating KFC. It’s not a game with Trump’s Chicken Littles combo-eating game. When Donald Trump…
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The 25 Best and Blackest Things About Chance the Rapper’s ‘Come Back, Barack’ Video on Saturday Night Live
1. The name of the group: De-Von-Tré. This is such a great and appropriate ’90s R&B name that I’m shocked it was available. Kinda like when you meet someone whose Twitter handle is @John and you think, “How the fuck did you get John?” 2. The very first shot of the video, of Chris Redd…
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White Meats I Personally Find Much Sexier Than Blake Shelton, Ranked
20. Chicken lunch meat 19. Chicken McNuggets 18. Uncooked Oscar Mayer turkey bacon 17. Turkey lunch meat 16. Campbell’s chicken-noodle-soup chicken 15. The tiny white cubes found in mortadella 14. The fatty part of the Easter ham my mom used to make that she’d chop up and put into eggs for breakfast and make them…
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How, if You’re a Man, to Deal With the Fact That You’re Probably Trash
The one thing I keep coming back to when thinking about Louis C.K. now isn’t the bizarre and abusive sexual habits revealed, in detail, last week by the New York Times—repeated forms of sexual misconduct that confirm the long-standing rumors about him and validate platforms such as Gawker, which first reported on this several years…
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Ways Jason Whitlock Probably Reacted After Learning GQ Named Colin Kaepernick Citizen of the Year, Ranked
10. Took a really long shower. Not a Silkwood shower where he furiously scrubbed his skin, but one of those 40-minute-long soapless showers where you just lean up against a wall letting the water hit your back while you ponder the inescapable vastness of the void. 9. Called Jeff George just to invite him over…
