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Yup, That Image of a Mitten-Clad, Socially-Distant, Errand-Running Bernie Sanders Is the Greatest Meme Ever
It’s been 12 years since I last felt how I felt while I begrudgingly watched some of the inauguration yesterday. Whatever relief experienced in ridding of the outgoing president (minimal) or pride in witnessing history (eh), was flattened by anxiety that something terrible was going to happen. And so from the time President Biden and…
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Everything Y'all Say About Clubhouse Makes It Sound Like the 4th Ring of Hell, So Please Stop Inviting Me to It
It was 2008. I was working at Duquesne University, and one of my colleagues was telling me about Burning Man, which I’d never heard of. He was planning on attending the next year and was pitching me to come with him. At first, it sounded like something I’d maybe be into. (“It’s a yearly festival…
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White People Need Better Hobbies
Even as the pandemic has handcuffed so much of our activity, think for a moment of all the shit you still have planned for the next several days. A virtual yoga class you wish to take. A book you need to finish. A show you want to binge. A recipe you’re anxious to try. A…
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Why Pixar's Surprisingly Polarizing Soul Is So, Well, Surprisingly Polarizing
This morning, I began the celebration of my 42nd year on Earth with Esomeprazole (for acid reflux), Lisinopril (for blood pressure), a vitamin C pill, a vitamin D pill, and a zinc supplement. At some point today, I will drink a cup of bone broth. And maybe this evening I will eat a gluten-free slice…
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Euphoria and Colman Domingo Delivered the Best Phone Call Scene I've Ever Seen, and I Still Can't Get It Out of My Head
So, during my conversation with Ta-Nehisi Coates earlier this week, he mentioned that he wants his work to “haunt” those who read it, where (paraphrasing) it sticks in their heads and they can’t extract it. I’ve had similar conversations with other writers—and others across the creative spectrum—and this feeling is universal among them. Us, I…
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So I Watched the 'Y'all Can't Twerk in Here' Video Again, and That Guy's Short-Sleeved Turtleneck Still Makes No Sense
It is below freezing in Pittsburgh today, with wind chills in the teens. I’ve spent much of the day indoors, shielded from the weather and protected by the central heating in our house, but inside still feels the effects of the cold. Sitting next to a window, for instance, feels like sitting next to a…
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This Holiday Season, Be Thankful You're Not Jason Whitlock
“It could be worse” seems to have overtaken the many versions of “I’m fine” on the list of the most common responses to “How are you doing?” Understandable, considering that we’re in a global pandemic and just responding with “I’m fine” feels both disingenuous and insensitive. But while “It could be worse” is sufficiently sober,…
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Why Every Joke, Tweet, and Essay Whining About How 'Cancel Culture Is Very Bad' Is Very Dumb, Explained
Jackson was walking down the street, headed to The Container Store when he saw his friend Timothee approaching. He hadn’t seen Timothee since two summers ago, when they both were stagehands on Bat Out of Hell: The Musical, so they were happy to see each other. Timothee also appeared to be eating a taco. “What’s…
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How Much Would You Pay to Watch a Secret Service Agent Drag Trump Out of the White House?
My parents and I used to play a game where one of us would think of some ridiculous dare, assign an arbitrarily low price to it, and then would keep increasing the ask until a “Yes” happened. Mom, to me and Dad: Would you walk to Get n’ Go butt-ass naked for 100 bucks? Dad…
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A Letter to the Dickheads Who Love to Tell You When People You Don't Know Are Talking Shit About You
The list of things that I don’t know is boundless. Endless. Infinite. There are so many things that I don’t know that the only thing approaching it in scale is the list of things I don’t even know that I don’t even know. For instance, I did not know, until last week, that Joe Biden…
