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Reviews of Black Panther, Reviewed
Um, not exactly … Well … I didn’t actually … I didn’t actually see the movie, man. This is just a review of all the reviews I’ve read so far today. Nah. I didn’t get an invite. I mean, I do plan to see the movie. And I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. But none of…
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Are We Certain That Britt McHenry and Tomi Lahren Aren’t the Exact Same Person?
Earlier Monday afternoon, Deadspin revealed that Professional White Woman Britt McHenry bought many of her Twitter followers. And that she then jumped on Twitter to have a death match with the “liberal media” about it. And then said something about fake news. And then went on the radio Monday morning to basically say, “Oh yeah,…
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10 People the Newly Finger Waved Katie Holmes Looks Like
The Grammys happened Sunday night. Bruno Mars won everything, Jay-Z won nothing and Rihanna made everyone pregnant. Basically, business as usual. Except it wasn’t. Because Katie Holmes—who is one half of Hollywood’s second-most “I guess they really are together, huh?” couple (Laura Dern and Baron Davis are the standard-bearers there)—came out to present an award…
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Being a Contrarian Just to Be a Contrarian Just Makes You a Sheep With Bad Timing
I’m not sure if anything will top the “Hitler had some talent, tho” hill that some of y’all’s friends and cousins are choosing to die on this week. And I say this as someone who has chosen some extremely peculiar hills—including the “Pancakes are better than waffles” hill, the “New Kanye’s music is better than…
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J. Holiday Leaps Out of His Unmade Bed of Irrelevance to Criticize Beyoncé, SZA and Cardi B for Disrespecting Black Men
Out-of-season-Avirex-bomber-jacket-repurposed-into-a-dog-blanket-with-sentience J. Holiday apparently received a Google alert this week to remind people he was still alive. Because that’s the only logical reason why he’d think it prudent to somersault out of his waterbed to hop on Instagram and talk hypocritical shit on some of the biggest names in music: Beyoncé, Cardi B, SZA (all…
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The 10 Blackest Things About This Kid’s Journal Entry Roasting His Teacher for Lying About Christopher Columbus
1. The matter-of-fact way he states, “Today was not a good learning day.” Which, in this context, is the equivalent of starting a sentence with, “But I just think it’s kinda funny that … ” 2. “I only wanted to hear you not talking” is probably the best burn I’ve heard since Morgan Freeman’s character…
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This Painting of the Obamas as Janet and Tupac From Poetic Justice Is the Blackest Thing I’ve Ever Seen This Week
When I was a kid, my dad used to make a Kool-Aid concoction he’d call “Kool-Aid wine.” It was reserved for special occasions—Thanksgivings, birthdays, Super Bowl parties, that time Cops was in Pittsburgh (and on our block!) and we invited people over to watch, etc.—and many of my favorite childhood memories are connected to it, as…
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Can We Talk About How a Woman With the World’s Whitest Name Pretended Not to Know That Norway Is White?
Admittedly, there are times when witnessing the audacity of caucasity in its full splendor that there’s nothing left to do but marvel at it. Perhaps, if you’re feeling particularly magnanimous, you can even appreciate it. Not because of what it does but because that level of confidence and performative obliviousness can be aspirational. I mean,…
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The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Just Published the Worst Editorial You’ll Read in 2018
If you are the type of person who pays attention to this sort of thing, you might have noticed that Pittsburgh is often lauded nationally for being an attractive place to live. The Economist named it America’s Most Livable City in 2014. A writer for MTV referred to it as the “new Brooklyn.” The Washington…
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Video Emerges of Manager of Pittsburgh Pizza Chain Brutally Beating Black Woman in Store
Video footage surfaced Friday evening of a black woman inside Pizza Milano—a popular Pittsburgh-area pizza chain— being pushed, restrained, head-butted and tackled by a manager of the store, who then, while on top of her, slammed her head repeatedly into the floor. (Warning: The video is very graphic and disturbing.) Equally disturbing is that Pizza…
