-
Megyn Kelly Is (Probably) Losing Her Job Because She Sucks At It, Not Because She's Racist
Sentient vat of recycled Great Value Wite-Out Megyn Kelly appears to be losing her job very soon. Perhaps it will happen while I am typing this sentence. (Did it?) The straw that broke this racist camel’s back, of course, was her awkward and illogical and just dumb-as-the-fuck defense of blackface Halloween costumes and then her…
-
Intimidating and Terrorizing and Bombing Is What They Do. It’s What They Have Always Done
There has never been a time in American history when they haven’t used violent force to scare, bully, intimate, injure, maim, disfigure, and murder. They of course, are those who wish to curtail rights and reverse progress, and there has never been a time in America—not yesterday, not the week before, not the month before,…
-
Is There a Support Group for People Who Hurt Themselves Trying to Do the Shoot Dance? (Asking for a Friend)
There’s this guy I know. His name is Famen Hung. We hoop together a few times a week. And despite being 39—and despite the fact that, the last time he went to LA Fitness, one of the young dudes on the court greeted him with “What’s good, O.G.?” (AND IT WAS MEANT TO BE A…
-
Megyn Kelly Is A Professional White Woman
“Who here is white?” asked Miss Sumpter, the 3rd-grade social studies teacher at Millbrooks Elementary School in Champaign, Ill., to her students while conducting a mock census. Each hand in the all-white classroom limped up, confirming their whiteness, though most of the students were just slightly confused by Miss Sumpter’s question. Well, each hand except…
-
Titanic II, A Replica of The Original Titanic, Is Set To Sail in 2022 And Will Be The Whitest Thing That Ever Happened
To my knowledge, I have never wanted to be white. I have, on occasion, pretended to be white, which is what happened sometimes when I worked at a telemarketing firm for almost 11 hours in 1998, hawking subscriptions to Redbook and Better Homes & Gardens. It has also happened when I’ve needed to call customer…
-
Yeah LeBron, This Ain’t a Good Look [Updated]
After watching the fourth quarter of last night’s explosive Los Angeles Lakers and Houston Rockets game live, and after watching the ensuing fight(s) from approximately 17,000 different angles, the single most entertaining thing is how Chris Paul turns into an impression of Kevin Hart doing an impression of someone about to fight, and how this…
-
My Only Feeling About This Drake, Pusha T, Kanye Beef Is Anger at the Liars Who Told Me ‘Men Don’t Gossip’
You need a flow chart to keep it all straight. It all started some years ago, because of some ambiguous beef between Pusha T and Lil Wayne and Baby. Then, this summer, Pusha T said some things on his album about Drake not writing his own lyrics. Then Drake responded with an especially-angsty-even-for-Drake song that…
-
On Reading Kiese Laymon’s Singular and Indestructible Heavy on the 5th Anniversary of My Mom’s Death
With his devastating and resplendent and transcendent Heavy, Kiese Laymon conjured, created and gave us a thing that each person who conjures, creates and gives things aspires to do, and that’s to create a thing that only he could have created. Of course, for the people who conjure, create and give things for a living,…
-
All of the Food in New Orleans Is the Best of All the Foods. How Is This Possible?
Before flying there for Essence Fest in July, I’d never been to New Orleans. Since then, I’ve been there twice, once for Panama’s bachelor party, then Sunday and Monday of this week to speak at Tulane University. Between the three separate visits, I’ve been there eight days total. In those eight days, I’ve probably eaten…
-
I’mma Let Y’all Finish But SNL’s Chris Redd Just Did the Best Kanye West Impression of All Time
I have either run out of things to think and say about the things Kanye West is (presumably) thinking and (definitely) saying or I have exhausted the will to make that effort. I’m not sure which. Either way, the result is the same. MAGA Kanye possesses the intersecting veneers of “fascinating” and “disturbing,” but the…
