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All the Worst White People Love Dave Chappelle's Sticks and Stones
It’s a device you’ll often see in comedies. A character enters a room that’s packed with people. There’s a meeting happening. Or perhaps a party. But just as the character begins to settle, he looks around and notices that the room is a completely different place than where he expected to be, and the audience…
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A Second-By-Second Recap of That Bizarre, Ridiculous and Utterly Perfect KOCO-TV 'Gorilla' Apology Video
0:08: The first shot you see is one of KOCO-TV morning anchors Alex Housden and Jason Hackett seated next to each other, with approximately six inches of space separating them. Housden looks frantic and harried like she just completed a seance for a whiteness Voltron that hasn’t yet arrived. Hackett looks like he’s waiting for…
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A Case for Why Jay-Z Should Forget About the NFL and Just Buy a Popeyes Franchise
Of the myriad possible metaphors for the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich craze of 2019—which is a thing I will tell my kids about when they ask how America voted for Donald Trump—my favorite is that the sandwich itself represents heaven. The line to wait for the sandwich? That’s life on Earth. Those who get their sandwiches…
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Poor People Are Already Financially Literate. They Just Need More Money
I don’t remember when exactly I first realized there was such a thing as class. I think I might have been 10 or 11, but I’m not certain. But even before I possessed the language to articulate class distinctions, I understood them. I knew where my family existed on that spectrum. I knew what where…
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A List of Really Small Words You Can Use to Sound Really Big Smart and Impress People
1. Apt 2. Heft 3. Wont 4. Stem 5. Ode 6. Tryst 7. Link 8. Rapt 9. Rage 10. Pose 11. Tact 12. Couth 13. Canon 14. Knotted 15. Snarl 16. Emote 17. Rigor 18. Ply 19. Hiss 20. Pivot 21. Verve 22. Grit 23. Tonic 24. Disrupt 25. Body (if black is used before…
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Guys, Um, It’s True: Popeyes Has the Best Fast Food Fried Chicken Sandwich and It Ain’t Even Close
So let’s just get this out of the way immediately. I’m a fan of sandwiches. I’m a fan of chicken that is cooked in preparation of me eating it. And I’m a fan of chicken that is fried before I eat it. Unfortunately, the marriage between these three is usually unsuccessful, as the fried chicken…
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Can Someone Please Give Jason Whitlock a Hug or Invite Him to Brunch or Something?
Sentient Stacy Adams shoebox Jason Whitlock is trending again today, for the same reason that his name always appears on my timeline when it does. A popular black athlete said or did something moderately cool, and this act offended Whitlock’s sensibilities enough for him cast judgment on said athlete with the fury of 27 porkpie…
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10 Burning Questions for David E. Kelley About That Big Little Lies Finale
1. Wait…what? 2. I mean I know we got to see Mary-Louise versus Celeste and Mary-Louise versus Renata and Mary-Louise versus Madeline and Renata versus the trains and Jane versus her bangs, but you brought this whole entire ass show back just to conclude it with a group of white women escorting a black woman…
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Yeah, Donald Trump’s a Racist…and So Was Every Other American President
Remember that scene in literally every superhero origin story, when the superhero person did some super shit in public for the first time, and most people who witnessed it were like, “Whoa!!! That was some super shit! Who knew we had super people here?” (And then a few are like, “Well actually what just happened…
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I've Been Married For 5 Years and I Still Don't Know What to Call My Mother-In-Law
Later this month, my wife and I will celebrate our five year anniversary. Which feels like an accomplishment. Not because getting and staying married makes you any specialer than those who ain’t either of those things, but because I think we know each other well enough now to make a pragmatic decision on whether to…
