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Sentient Porkpie Hat Jason Whitlock Out at Fox Sports
Jason Whitlock, the Tomi Lahren of Clarence Thomases, is reportedly out at Fox Sports, after they couldn’t come to an agreement on a new contract. I first learned of this news on Twitter, where his name is currently trending. And his name is trending because he is so thoroughly loathed that news of him parting…
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White People Nationwide Mourn the Senseless Murder of a Minneapolis Target Store
“I’m still in shock. It was just there yesterday.” said 31-year-old Minneapolis resident Josh Hanks as he battled tears while standing in front of the Lake Street Target store’s remains. “I have so many memories of the Home and Patio section. So many laughs. So many smiles. And now it’s gone forever.” For the Lake…
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Thoughts on Forgiving Amy Cooper (aka 'Darth Karen'), Who Got Fired, Banned From Central Park, and Lost Her Dog
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL HOLY SHIT I’M SORRY I REALLY TRIED REALLY REALLY HARD TO COME ON KYRIE IRVING’S INTERNET THIS MORNING AND WRITE A THING ABOUT FORGIVENESS BECAUSE I’M CHRISTIAN-ISH ON WEDNESDAYS AND I REMEMBERED LAST NIGHT THAT EVEN HALLE EVENTUALLY FORGAVE EDDIE IN BOOMERANG AT THE END OF THE MOVIE EVEN THOUGH LOVE DIDN’T BRING HIM…
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Doja Cat’s ‘Dindu Nuffin,’ Explained
“Trust me, they’re both real!” in any context doesn’t inspire much confidence.
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It's Racism, Stupid. It's Always Racism.
My daughter, who is 4 years old, is currently in a superhero phase. Yesterday, for instance, I spent much of the day in an extended, five-hour-long riff with her where she’d approach me every 40 minutes or so to share she’d discovered a new superpower, and then she’d display it for me. (“Jumping jacks with…
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Stringer Bell Was Very Dumb, Very Bad at His Job, and Deserved to Die
Although The Wire had a sprawling ensemble cast, it was largely built around his position, his power, his decisions, and his fall.
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Post-COVID, Is Indoor Pickup Basketball…Done?
“The era of “drop-in” workouts may be over,” writes VICE’s Maggie Puniewska in a sobering piece about what gyms will likely look like in a post-COVID America. The brim and bustle of a peak-hour LA Fitness won’t be returning any time soon, as even those willing to chance visiting a gym once they reopen will…
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Andrea Askowitz Invents New Level of Whiteness, Writes the Worst Essay You'll Ever Read
Eons from now, when the planet is a barren wasteland scorched by solar flares and sheathed by Amazon Hub lockers, several of our evolved descendants will leave their homes on Lunar Outpost X Æ A-12 to return to Earth on an artifact-finding mission. And they will discover, amongst the ruins, a pristine copy of Andrea…
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'Jog for Ahmaud' Ain't Activism, It's Respectability
Ahmaud Arbery was shot and killed after he was stalked and approached by two armed men suspicious of his presence in the neighborhood he happened to be in. That he was black, and that the men who killed him are white, matters because of the historical context of whites believing they possess a birthright to…
