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A List of Things Longer Than the Confederacy Was
1. The (still growing) gap between Anti and whatever Rihanna decides to release when she’s bored hawking drawers to thirsty Deltas. 2. The not-yet-produced comprehensive oral history of Shaun King’s greatest “investment opportunities.” 3. The (approximate) driving distance between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. 4. The stretch of time between middle and high school when I was…
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Yeah, It's Time to Bury the Cutesy 'Karen' Nickname for Dangerous White Women
If the COVID-19 crisis hadn’t introduced zeitgeist-crashing terms like “coronavirus” and “social distancing” to our lexicon, “Karen” might have very well been the word of 2020. There have been explainers about it—one of which I wrote to distinguish it from “Becky.” There have been arguments over whether it’s racist (LOLOL) and misogynist (well…more on that…
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So NASCAR's Official Response to Bubba Wallace Was 'We Just Have Random Nooses Around Sometimes' and That's It???
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL HOLY SHIT I KNOW THIS AIN’T FUNNY THIS IS AWFUL THIS IS TERRIBLE THIS IS HATEFUL THIS IS MISSISSIPPI BURNING THIS IS A NOOSE ON THE LOOSE BUT HOW DEEPLY HOW THOROUGHLY HOW HILARIOUSLY RACIST MUST YOUR ORGANIZATION BE FOR “THAT WASN’T A NOOSE OF HATE. THAT WAS JUST OUR TUESDAY NOOSE. HIS NAME…
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'Aunt Jemima Was Canceled' Says Very Sad White Woman Upset About Black Lives Matter and…Pancake Syrup
According to their grammatically-challenged Twitter bio, Turning Point USA is a “Student Movement for Freedom, Free Markets, Limited Government.” While I won’t quite call them Hitler Youth USA, I wouldn’t not call them Hitler Youth USA, either. (But you can call them Hitler Youth USA if you want!) Again, I will not call them Hitler…
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The Rich Dad Poor Dad Guy Is a Racist, Idiot Trump Supporter So Please STFU About That Shitty Book Forever
People who pray at this altar are specifically susceptible to the sort of symbiotic grift that has made Robert Kiyosaki a rich man.
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'Karen McMuffin' Just Had a Human Moment Under Stress…Which Is Why No Human Should Have the Legal Right to Kill
In 2018, after a long and hard day of writing blogs about white privilege and gluten-free pancakes, I drove to the Wendy’s a few blocks from my house to get a Baconater, a frosty, and some fries. When I pulled up to the drive-thru window, the cashier said it might be a while because they…
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A Letter to the Shameless Negroes Marching in Suits to 'Change the Narrative'
A screenshot of a news clip is an efficient way to find art for an internet essay when an image from Getty or one of the other subscription-based photo libraries is unavailable. If lucky, you might even find a clip with a synopsizing chyron—which is the roving electronic caption usually at the bottom of a…
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What 'Defund' in 'Defund the Police' Actually Means, Explained
What a year, huh? Yeah, 2020 has been a monster. Forget 2020. I mean just from Sunday to Wednesday. You’re right. Each week has been a year. Each month a decade. The Popeyes chicken sandwich craze feels like it happened when I was 4 years old. So one recurring theme of the uprising is a…
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The Police Would Rather Kill White People Than Stop Killing Black People
I was reminded last week, while watching the clip of 75-year-old Martin Gugino getting pushed by Buffalo police officers and cracking his head open, of a Twitter thread a few years ago by Gene Demby. I cannot find the actual thread right now (perhaps someone can help me and I’ll add a link to it)…
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Why Drew Brees Is the Worst Type of White Man, Explained
Tough week, huh? Man. Remember how long and shitty everyone said March was? Yup. I want to buy March an Edible Arrangement and beg it to come back. Man. I would serenade the shit out of March right now. I’d be Keith Sweat in this joint. “Who can love March like me? (Nobody). Who can…
