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10 Things I Learned From My Labor Day Spelunking Adventure
I went spelunking on Labor Day with my wife and several others for a friend’s birthday. Here’s what I learned. 1. Fuck spelunking 2. No, seriously. Fuck spelunking. 3. I don’t think you understand. Take all the fucks in the world. The fucks you used to give about Ashanti. The fucks you give now about…
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Michael Sam, And The Black (And Gay) Politics Of Being "Twice As Good"
The analogy many gay rights activists and allies have made between their fight for equal rights and the Black American’s fight for civil rights is flawed, but I understand why it’s made. It’s a natural comparison, but it breaks down when considering that (most) Blacks can’t blend in. In America, Blackness is conspicuous, and this conspicuousness allows for…
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Five Things Hackers Need To Do Instead Of Hacking Celebrity Nude Pictures
I’m sure you’ve heard by now of the hacker who managed to find and leak nude pictures of dozens of celebrities over the weekend, including Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton. I won’t provide links to these images because 1) It’s really fucked up and 2) I’m pretty sure it’s illegal, but they do exist and…
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Shit Bougie Black People Love: 20. A Different World
You might remember the late 80s and early 90s as a forgettable period of time where Republicans ran the White House, t-shirts had shoulder pads, and everyone cool got AIDS. This is because you’re not a Bougie Black Person. Bougie Black People hold this period especially dear, as many of their favorite memories were created in…
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Why 2014 Is The Best Year For Light-Skinned Black Men Ever
After a 20 year dip in popularity and social capital — spearheaded by Nino Brown’s now infamous shanking of Christopher Williams’ delicate light-skinned hands in New Jack City — 2008 seemed poised to be the peak of the light-skinned Black man resurgence. Obama won the White House. Cory Booker and Deval Patrick seemed like heir apparents.…
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What I've Learned About Myself After Being Married For A Month
“They” say you learn more about yourself when you’re in a relationship than you learn about the other person. “They” even say you learn more about yourself when you’re in a relationship than you would at any other time. “They” also said ASAP Rocky would save New York City hip-hop, so I know “they” tend…
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10 Reasons Why You Totally Need To Be Watching The 2014 FIBA Basketball World Cup
1. Because it contains all the elements people who say they love basketball but don’t love the NBA wish the NBA had (shorter games, a single elimination tournament, annoying non-Black guards making faces and taking charges, etc) AND the one element making the NBA the best basketball league in the world (NBA talent and skill). Basically,…
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A Minute-By-Minute Recap Of The Night The VMAs Reminded Me I'm Old As Fuck
I have never been less interested in pop music than I was this year. Part of this lack of interest is practical. I barely listen to the radio when driving, choosing instead to rock to one of the 1500 songs (and no, 1400 of them are not Kanye tracks) on my iPhone. I don’t watch…
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A Definitive List Of Every Bougie Black Girl Celebrity Crush Of The Last 20 Years
Judging from the dozens of thirsty Bougie Black Girls on my Facebook page, Twitter feed, and GChat list, within the last week or so Jesse Williams — best known for playing one of the doctors on that Shonda Rhimes show that airs before Scandal — has cemented himself as 2014’s holder of the Bougie Black…
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5 Things Weed Makes You Do (Hint: "Attack A Police Officer" Is Not On The List)
I’ve never smoked weed. It’s illegal in the state of Pennsylvania. And I don’t break the law. Because breaking the law is illegal. And I’m a role model. But, for fun, let’s create an alternative reality where I smoked weed before. Let’s also say I wasn’t a habitual weed smoker, but I smoked enough to…
