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The 10 Worst Drinks Black People Ever Thought It Was Cool To Drink
10. Cristal Because you will never convince me there’s any discernible difference between Cristal and Andre. 9. Malt liquor (any) I know it’s not politically correct to victim blame, but if you willingly sleep with someone who drinks malt liquor and you wake up with your TV, toothbrushes, and four steps off of your staircase…
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Shit Bougie Black People Love: 28. Full Beards
Everyone knows that if you were to happen to encounter a random pack of Bougie Black People in the wild — perhaps at a gallery crawl or a Delta Sigma Theta potluck — and you wanted to make a good first impression, the best way of doing so would be to find a woman (any woman,…
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An Uncomfortable Convo Between A Black Person And A White Coworker
Setting: Some office, somewhere, with office shit and shit everywhere. Background: After spending much of the previous evening watching and reading about Baltimore, random Black guy (“Deron”) goes to work. Since Deron is a Pittsburgher, all of his coworkers are White. While at work, Deron actually wants to…work. Or talk about work. Or perhaps talk…
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Respectability Politics Are No Solution; They Are A Surrender
At times like these, when the uncomfortable behavior of (mostly) Black people is broadcast to a (mostly) White audience and becomes a national discussion point, a particular type of Black person tends to emerge. Actually, “emerge” might not even be the best word, because it implies that this person rose from somewhere, when in reality…
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Baltimore Is Not Ferguson; Freddie Gray Is Not Michael Brown
It is not difficult to witness what’s happening in Baltimore, Maryland right now and immediately think of Ferguson, Missouri. Or New York City. Or Cleveland, Ohio. Or Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Or perhaps even Los Angeles in 1992. The parallels are obvious; heartbreakingly, evisceratingly, surreally obvious. So obvious are these similarities that it does not take much…
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I'm Only Rooting For Confirmed Shitty Human Floyd Mayweather Because He's Black. Is This Racist?
This weekend, Floyd Mayweather will fight Manny Pacquiao in what will be the most highly-anticipated boxing match I can remember. It’s so highly-anticipated that people who generally give no fucks about boxing — people like The Wife Person and I — will be making plans this week to not only watch the fight, but possibly (gasp!) pay…
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The Top 10 Lightskinneded Black Male Beefs, Ever
Everything that could have been said about Michael Eric Dyson’s 170,000 word critique of Cornel West has likely already been said. The forensic examination is near complete, the deconstructions have been deconstructed, and somewhere in America, Miley Cyrus is still twerking. Still, one assessment remains. Really, the only assessment that matters. On the list of notable…
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Eric Heyl Of The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review Just Wrote The Worst Column I've Ever Read
When words like “best” or “worst” are incorporated in the titles of Things Written On The Internet, it’s often more about creating an attractive headline and crafting an argument than the writer’s sincere belief that whatever’s being written about (i.e.: “Why Chipotle Has The Best Beef Taco Ever”) is actually the “best” or “worst” thing…
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Seven Thoughts On The Ghost Of Cornel West
1. It’s not terribly uncommon for the type of people who’d even be interested in reading Michael Eric Dyson’s thoughts about Cornel West to rib on Dyson for his often torrential and occasionally obnoxious loquaciousness. He is a man very in love with both the words escaping his pen and coming out of his mouth, and…
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10 Things About New York City From A Guy Who's Definitely Not From New York City
I was in New York City for two days last week. I was also there for a couple days in February, 36 hours or so in 2013, and for three days in 2012. By all accounts, this makes me a New York City expert. And, since I’m a New York City expert, I feel completely comfortable…