-
10 Completely Separate Times Nia Long Proved She's The Best And Baddest Actress Who Ever Lived
According to several sources, Nia Long, the baddest actress who has ever lived, is apparently engaged to long-time boyfriend Ime Udoka. I am happy about this. Because, by doing things like “existing” and “sitting while appearing on screen,” Nia Long has been making me happy for over 20 years. So being happy about her happiness…
-
Why The "Grown-Ass Black Man With Cornrows" Is The Greatest Hairstyle Ever
1. Because aside from being… A) an inmate B) a grip on a porno set C) a gang member in LA (and only in LA) D) a pimp in a randomly bizarre location like Sioux Falls, SD, Punxsutawney, PA, or Saturn E) a light skinneded daytime TV star in a Tyler Perry movie …there’s no valid…
-
There Are Many Perfectly Valid Reasons To Hate Jay Z. Tidal, However, Isn't One Of Them
1. As a young man, Jay Z spent an indeterminate amount of time dealing crack cocaine in the neighborhood he grew up in. 2. He was so good at dealing crack that he managed to make a small fortune from it and elude any serious legal consequences. 3. He left selling crack behind completely, instead…
-
Foods Your Bitch Ass Better Not Bring To A Memorial Day Cookout
1. Tossed salad Because no one — not even the fire ants and mosquitoes sharing an all-inclusive buffet on your ashy ankles — wants to eat your soggy-ass, lettuce the color of beef and broccoli Timberlands-ass, tossed salad at a fucking cookout. 2. Tuna salad The only thing shittier than your StarKist and mayonnaise and macaroni after…
-
Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift, And Lena Dunham Unite To Troll The Fuck Out Of Literally Everyone
Certain collaborations seem so counterintuitive — at least initially — that they almost can’t help but be successful off the sheer ingenuity and ridiculousness of someone attempting to put those two things together. Fried chicken and waffles, for instance. (Also, Big Sean and public speaking.) The risk in doing this, of course, is in looking wasteful and…
-
An Investigation: Why White People Hate Kanye West So Damn Much
Human Rorschach test Kanye West closed out last night’s Billboard Music Awards with performances of “All Day” and “Black Skinhead” that were bleeped so many times they should have just had him holding a sign with the word “censored” as the entire performance. The reactions on my timeline and newsfeed about his pyrotechnics ranged from pissed to exasperated…
-
A Guide To Reading VSB For People Who Just Now Discovered VSB
Hello, person who just recently discovered VSB. My name is Damon Young, and I’m the editor-in-chief and co-founder of VSB. That’s me in the picture with the sunglasses and the egghead. The fashionable fella to my right is Panama Jackson, senior editor and also a co-founder. Here’s another picture of a much, much, much, much-less-drunk…
-
George Zimmerman Is Never Going To Fucking Die
George Zimmerman is never going to fucking die. This is all you need to know when seeing a news alert about him (almost) getting shot in the face. That it would not matter if he actually was shot in the face. Or repeatedly and surgically punched in the face by Zach Randolph. Or strangled in…
-
The 10 Worst Drinks Black People Ever Thought It Was Cool To Drink
10. Cristal Because you will never convince me there’s any discernible difference between Cristal and Andre. 9. Malt liquor (any) I know it’s not politically correct to victim blame, but if you willingly sleep with someone who drinks malt liquor and you wake up with your TV, toothbrushes, and four steps off of your staircase…
