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Shit Bougie Black People Love: 18. Being Upset About Kanye West
No one was happier for Kanye West’s early career than Bougie Black People. While others merely enjoyed Kanye’s music, Bougie Black People were enchanted by him. “Finally” Bougie Black People exclaimed, between sips of green machine Naked Juice, “a rap artist who speaks to me.” To their credit, the parallels between Kanye West and the…
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My Bobby Shmurda Problem (Hint: HE CAN'T F*CKING RAP!!!)
It was the summer of 2012. I don’t remember the exact date, but I do remember the events leading up to it. There was a three or four week stretch when Chief Keef’s name kept popping up. On Facebook. And Twitter. And thinkpieces. And in conversation. He was the hottest new name in hip-hop; divisive,…
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10 Things The NFL Cares Even Less About Than It Cares About Women
After giving star running back Ray Rice a paltry two game suspension for punching his then-fiancee (now wife) unconscious and dragging her body through the hotel they were staying at — an act caught on film — the NFL has proven again that it gives less than two fucks about the demographic that comprises over…
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Six Things No One Tells You About Your Wedding Day
1. You will not eat. Ok, this is a lie. Several people who’ve gone through this process before warned us there wouldn’t be much time for eating. But, since we believed we’re special little snowflakes and shit, we ignored them. After all, the venue we chose was specifically chosen because of their brunch menu. What’s…
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Drake, The Most Talented Rapper…Ever
He will not be as revered by history as Tupac and Biggie. He’ll never capture hip-hop’s collective consciousness the way Wu-Tang did in the mid-90s. He won’t be defended as fervently as Nas will always be. He’ll never be considered a creative genius the way Kanye is. He won’t be as loved by White people…
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On Bachelor Parties And Blackouts
(Editor’s Note: After some thought, I’ve decided to change the title, edit out the hashtag, and remove the references to Jada. Don’t want to be seen as capitalizing on what that girl has had to go through. D. Young) It started with Bellinis. We got there at 2:30. The bottomless was ending at 3. So, in order…
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Lebron Goes Back to Cleveland. Holy. Fucking. Shit. (Edit: 10 Post-Nosebleed Observations)
No coherent thoughts yet. Hard to type while my nose is bleeding. (Edit) Now that my nose has stopped bleeding, here’s 10 quick thoughts about Lebron returning to Cleveland 1. This is the 5th straight summer dominated by a Lebron storyline. 2010: The decision. 2011: Losing to the Mavs. 2012: Winning 1st chip. 2013: Repeating…
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I'm Getting Married In 10 Days. And I'm Fine With That.
I keep waiting for it to happen. Since maybe May, (approximately) 40% of the conversations I’ve had with everyone from my friends and family to my (new) barber and my fiancee’s co-workers have included a mention about my upcoming wedding. And, since June, 50% of those convos contain a variant of the following question: “So…are you…
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What Solange Would Have Said About The Fight If She Were One Of Your Cousins
Of course, anyone with any knowledge of how the Knowles/Carter cult handles things knew Solange’s public non-response would likely be her official public response to the chicken fight seen ’round the internet. And, admittedly, this is how a family is supposed to handle family business. Leave the passive-aggressive Facebook posts about family to your cousins.…
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How To Be Really Good At Being A Down-Low Brotha
Remember back in 2004? When gay Black men pretending to be straight became America’s boogeymen, getting blamed for everything from H.I.V. rates to your half-empty bottle of juice in the office fridge? (“Man. Damn DL brothas must’ve drank my apple juice again. Fuck J.L.King!”) And remember how everyone — well, everyone except Tyler Perry —…
