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Aaliyah: The Princess of R&B Sucked Because She Hasn't Been Dead Long Enough
At some extremely contrived professional mixer five years ago, a woman asked me to name the movie that surprises people when they learn I haven’t seen it. Before I could answer, she volunteered her’s: “Malcolm X.” This alone was grounds for getting up and walking away from the bar, but I stayed because that would have…
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Quiz: Exactly How Black Are You?
1. If at a cookout, what’s the most important question you can ask? A) Is the meat ready yet? B) Who made the potato salad? C) You were supposed to bring the foil. Why do you never remember to bring the foil? 2. Have you seen 12 Years a Slave yet? A) Yeah, I saw…
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On Praying Away The Gay
If you haven’t yet seen the video of a “formerly” gay man renouncing homosexuality and declaring that he likes wimenwimenwimenwimen during a church service, take a moment after you’re done reading this to thank me for introducing this to your life. It is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen this year. Part…
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"Nigga" Is A Part Of My Vocabulary. Here's Why
The Washington Post is currently running a comprehensive interactive about the “n-word.” Titled “Redefining the Word,” the feature gives an historical context for why nigga is entrenched in our culture and interviews dozens of people for their thoughts and feelings about the word today. They didn’t interview me. But, if they did, this is what…
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The 10 Best Things About Sex That Have Nothing To Do With The Actual Sex
Watching Olivia “Puddles” Pope get all hot and bothered while Fitz was teasing her on the phone last night on Scandal made me think of two things: A) Good thing she’s not wearing white pants today. B) There are many great things about intimacy and sex that don’t involve the actual physical act of having sex. Here’s…
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Five Recurring Black Comedy Characters Who Need To Die
Lebron James isn’t having the greatest week. His Cavs are struggling and now the Progressive ad featuring him as “Flobron” is receiving heat. From The Root: One quick look at the Instagram comments on Progressive’s page shows that some people feel the ad campaign is derogatory to black men. Instagram user generalsdaughter wrote: There were absolutely NO OTHER CONCEPTS that…
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Michael Jordan Fires Shots, President Obama Claps Back, Says "I Actually Do My Job, Bitch"
It’s very possible that MJ and Obama are chopping it up in some private back room at Burgatory right now, smoking blunts and drinking cookie dough milkshakes. Again, this is very possible. But, after seeing the jabs they’ve been giving each other for the past week, it might be a bit colder in Chicago than we…
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Dear Chris Brown: People Will Get Over You And Rihanna If You Allow Them To Get Over You And Rihanna
Hey Breezy. How are you today? I know you didn’t ask, but I’m doing fine. It was cold as balls last weekend in Pittsburgh, but it seems to be warming up, and I’m enjoying this nice fall day. BTW, why do we say “cold as balls”? Aren’t balls typically warm? I mean, even when it’s…
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My Street Harassment Story
I was in D.C. around this time last year for a screening of our TV pilot. We (my now wife and I) drove down from Pittsburgh that day, and made it to town at around five. Since the screening was at 7:30, we had a couple hours to spare, so we stopped somewhere on U Street to…
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Why I Love NBA Basketball (…And Why You Don't If You Don't)
***Although originally posted a year ago, everything said here still rings true. So I’m saying it again (with some minor edits)*** As I type this, the remnants of a fried egg and bacon sandwich sits on a plate to my left. What was once a towering piece of sandwich art has been reduced to a dozen…
